March 12, 2009


© 2009 Helios Media, Inc.  Please click here to see this image on Flickr.


© 2009 Helios Media, Inc.  Please click here to see this image on Flickr.

When Donald saw me uploading these files, he felt it was necessary to warn me that I had prepared my graphs incorrectly.  I tried to listen, but then a bunch of words came out of his mouth, words like “independent variable” and “exponential growth,“ and pretty soon I was twitching on the floor from the information overload.  I don’t speak math-dork-glish, but what I did glean from our brief conversation on the matter is that I have an inate inability to properly create a graph.  BE YE WARNED.


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When I set up this website, I wanted to include a design column so that I could indulge my love and hate of design on the Internet.  By that, I mean that I hoped to show people how design affects my life, for the better and for the worse.  In yesterday’s entry I included some really awful pictures I took of Sebastian, pictures that are clearly a demonstration of poor design on my part (is that statement being too generous?)

Nobody commented on that entry at all, which surprised me because I thought the conversation I had with Donald was far less interesting than the fact that I had accidentally taken a picture of my cat’s ass, and that entry received a handful of comments, but WHAT DO I KNOW?

Today is going to be a very long day for me, so I doubt that I will have a chance to write an actual entry with updates and photographs and witty takes on life, so instead I thought I would commit that unthinkable blogging sin and re-post yesterday’s design column photograph with a link to yesterday’s entry.  After all, nobody else may have found it funny, but I sure did, and I feel that on days like today when I wake up expecting the world to SUCK THE LIFE FORCE FROM MY BODY that I deserve to laugh.  So here’s yesterday’s photograph.  Every time I look a this today, I’m going to laugh.  Thank you for your patience.  I will resume normal blogging about things besides Sebastian Furry Britches tomorrow =)


© 2009 Helios Media, Inc.  Please click here to see this image on Flickr.

Hah!  Ha.  Ha ha.  Woo-hoo!  Heh.  Ha!  Oh, come on.  This doesn’t make you laugh just a little bit at my stupidity?  (You don’t have to click that link.  It just goes to yesterday’s post.  WHICH IS HILARIOUS BECAUSE I SAY SO AND I AM THE MASTER OF DETERMINING THESE THINGS.)


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-  The baby’s kicking right now?
-  Yes.  It’s beating the crap out of my bladder.

Donald placed his hand on my belly.

-  Where?  I don’t feel it.
-  I promise it was kicking a second ago.

We waited.

-  Maybe you’re just a calming influence?
-  Yeah.  The baby probably thought THANK GOODNESS!!  I FEEL LOGIC!!


© 2009 Helios Media, Inc.  Please click here to see this image on Flickr.


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March 09, 2009

She said:
-  Hank got into the recycling again.

He said:
-  *sniffle* Our dog is broken.


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It is hard to believe that this pregnancy is already more than halfway over, that I am close enough to the finish line to taste the sweet and painful victory of birth.  It seems like only yesterday I came home early from work to pee on a stick.

Okay, I came home early from work to pee on three sticks.  BUT REALLY, WHO’S COUNTING?


© 2009 Helios Media, Inc.  Please click here to see this image on Flickr.

I already knew what the sticks would tell me, of course, so I knew that I would need a full afternoon to wrap my head around the fact that AN ALIEN BEING was somewhere inside my body.

Donald and I had been waiting for this baby for a long time.  Those three sticks were the best thing to ever happen in our marriage, although the time I found out that my husband could make a mean brownie was a very close second.  (I know what you’re thinking, so I should clarify that they are NOT pot brownies.)

Every week of this pregnancy is better than the last.  This week, we can watch my belly contort as the baby kicks and squirms and repositions itself and then we can guess: is this lump the head?  Or the buttocks?  Or the cutest little elbow in the world?  Or is that actually an organ that has been moved into an unthinkable location?


© 2009 Helios Media, Inc.  Please click here to see this image on Flickr.

I am also expecting my belly button to break even with the rest of my belly any day now.  It has been threatening to do so for awhile, something I honestly had not thought would happen to me because my belly button typically runs about as deep as the Mariana Trench, and it has recently copped an attitude, so that when I cross my arms it pokes out more, and when I DARE try to bend over and pick up a sock I dropped on the floor?  It actually pops out.

Sigh.

But I think the most impressive milestone of all at 21 weeks is this: when I spill crumbs at dinner, they now land on my belly.  And while I should probably be ashamed about this, the fact of the matter is that I have taken to picking the crumbs off my t-shirt and eating them like nothing happened.


© 2009 Helios Media, Inc.  Please click here to see this image on Flickr.


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