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Sorry for your humiliation and all, but if it makes you feel any better you made me laugh in hysterics this morning. Don’t worry, that mom surely ripped some stinky ones some time too. No shame, we all fart and nobody’s smell like roses.
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My memory has absolutely rotten ever since I found out I was pregnant and for the last 11 months since my son was born. It’s not enough that when he vacated my womb he left some luggage behind in the way of fat on my stomach, hips and thighs but he also had to rob me of my short term memory.
Now as for my long term memory, certain aspects of my childhood are crystal clear. Such as Renee pee pee pants and Lisa ear wax girl etc etc. It’s terrible how those associations just happen, but you never expect them to carry into adulthood.
It’s bad enough to fart loudly in public, then have someone hear it and laugh, but then to connect you to your childhood nickname . . . what a perfect storm.
I’m sorry that I laughed out loud. But a comedy writer couldn’t have told the story better. -
Oh, my! I am very sorry that happened to you! But…I know EXACTLY what you mean about the post-baby farting. It really does happen out of nowhere! I’ve never been one to just let them go, but you really have no choice in the matter! Usually just walking sets them off! I have a feeling I’ll be in a situation similar to yours some day soon!
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Oh dear, I guess I should express sympathy like the others but I have to admit that you had me rolling! I do only laugh in commiseration as it took me months not to snart (fart when I sneezed) after I had my daughter. Every. Freeking. Time. I got so that I would find a dark corner somewhere every time I felt a sneeze coming on. lol! Thank you for the morning laugh and the ?memories?.
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If it makes you feel any better… A couple months after I had my son, I locked myself out of the house. I thankfullly had my phone and called my husband to hurry home. I had to poop.
Well, he was working an hour away and that just wouldn’t work. I called him back 15 minutes later and told him not to worry about. I had found a box in the garage, had jude’s baby wipes and did what I had to do. It was hands down the most degrading moment in my life. He of course thought it was hilarious.
I threatened him for months afterwards that if that story got out, it was grounds for divorce. Of course over time it’s become a running joke and any time a box or the garage is mentioned someone who knows the story brings it up. Sigh…
Ps- I teared up I laughed so hard.
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Oh my gosh, Sarah, that’s frickin hilarious! I mean, totally embarrassing, but I was rolling with laughter.
Don’t worry though, everyone farts. And if you ever get too embarrassed about it, you can try to pass it off on Charlotte. That’s what my mil does with Des.
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Finally! Proof that farts can be accidental :) My husband doesn’t believe me when I pull that card! I’m sorry for your embarrassment, but you told one heck of a story.
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LOL Sabrina, no worries, she laughed about it afterwards. The mom I went to the library with has informed me that she will never let me live it down, though lol.
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Alicia - BEST. STORY. EVER! I’m going to laugh about that all day =)
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AHAHAHA! Thanks for the laugh. Just fyi, it’s apparently the growing-the-baby and not the shooting-it-out-your-vagina part that affects the farting mechanism, because being cut open for that kiddo has the same effect. :)
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That sounds like something that has happened to me, glad I am not alone in my tooting incontinence :)
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O.M.G.
enough said. ha!
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Way to get me in trouble at work!!! I’ve never worked so hard to stifle laughing at my desk! :) Was it okay that we all laughed at your expense?
If it makes you feel any better, I have a history of fainting in public (low blood sugar combined with being tall). One time in grade school, at the library no less, I fainted after standing for too long with my knees locked. Okay, not a big deal. But when you faint, you also can lose bladder control….so yes, I wet my pants in the library.
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nice. I mean really?? the same person was there both times?? geez, you have ALL the luck! Thanks for the laugh
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I admit I’m a horrible person. I was laughing hysterically! Do you forgive me?
I’m totally a Katy Fartypants, too. After a while, I figured out the art of silent farting, but I still haven’t learned how to make them less stinky. -
Sarah - I don’t think she was in my class the first time - at least I don’t remember her being in my class, but we did know each other and I think our lunch groups sat next to each other? Maybe? I can’t really remember that well lol. It’s not completely random that we ran into each other - alot of the people I grew up with have stayed local and I run into them all the time. I’ve run into some of them at mom groups, on walks, at the grocery store, YOU NEVER KNOW WHERE IT WILL HAPPEN NEXT lol.
Kelsey - THAT IS SO MUCH WORSE! I feel for you!
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Ok, I really can’t feel THAT bad for you, because you’re laughing at yourself now by posting this whole story - so you must not be THAT embarrassed ;)
That being said, I just about cried trying not to wake my sleeping child from laughing too loud.
I have so many embarrassing stories. Honestly, I think I’m going to make one of our next “Carnival of Natural Parenting” topics “embarrassing mama stories,“ because who DOESN’T have those moments?!
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I’m sitting here literally crying with laughter! So funny but so embarrassing. Even since I had my son I have had a lot of sneaky farts that I didn’t even know were coming too. Good for you for posting, I hope you’re not known as Sarah Fartypants again for the next several years!
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Dionna - It was humiliating at the time, but come on, it’s pretty funny. I mean, people could recognize me for all sorts of things, BUT THAT WAS WHAT TRIGGERED HER MEMORY?! My farting?!
It’s ridiculous.
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LMBO! OMG, have you written a book? I bet you have more fun stories, too, but this one is HIlarious! I had to paraphrase and tell the story to my husband because I was laughing so much.
Thank you for sharing your mortification with the rest of us, as you know we can all relate on some level.
SO funny!
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lol - love it! I laughed so hard I think you almost put me into labour!
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I was rocking my baby to sleep as I read this and had tears streaming down my face from silently laughing so hard! Funniest blog post ever. This is my first time here, but I will now be a regular visitor! :-)
Thank you for the laughs!
http://www.ithoughtiknewmama.com -
I was rocking my baby to sleep as I read this and had tears streaming down my face from silently laughing so hard! Funniest blog post ever. This is my first time here, but I will now be a regular visitor! :-)
Thank you for the laughs!
I Thought I Knew Mama -
Oh, sweetie, this was HI-frickin-larious! I’ve had many an embarrassing experience myself so I completely sympathise.
Oh, and, Dionna, a carnival of embarrassing Momma stories is a wicked idea! I’d be in for sure!
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No WAY!!!
that is the funniest and most awful thing I’ve ever heard. If I saw it in a movie I’d think it was ridiculious and could never happen.
You’re a really good writer and I’m so glad NPN directed me to this post and your site. -
That is hilarious and embarrassing but sometimes you just have to shrug your shoulders and laugh. What else can you do? I totally agree about the farting thing - once you have kids, you start farting more audibly and regularly. As far as I know, that never goes away. ANOTHER thing all those stupid pregnancy books don’t tell you about.
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Laugh ‘til I cried.
Laugh ‘til I cried.
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Sarah - Thanks…
I try to convince my husband all the time that the belly is not the only thing that isn’t as tight after baby. all sorts of muscles get loose. LOL
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Alicia - Lol, good luck. Donald doesn’t believe it either. Since being called “Sarah Fartypants” was really just a play on being called “Sarah Smartypants,“ my husband spends all tons of time re-birthing the Sarah Fartypants nickname any chance he gets. When I was pregnant, it was practically daily. This is just one more excuse for him.
If I pooped in a box, I have a feeling he would create a whole new nickname for me. But it’s true, things just aren’t the same after you’ve had a baby. Intestines do not function the same AT ALL.
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Sorry!! Hilarious though. :)
Post baby I had an “incident”. Apparently lactose and I are not on the best terms anymore. I had an eggnog latte over the holidays on one side of town and on my way home with baby in tow, I had some cramps and then HAD TO GO RIGHT THEN. But…um…in the car with a baby, so I couldn’t even pull over at a gas station or anything for fear of not making it to the toilet. I was driving and SWEATING and just thinking, “I don’t know what ‘s going to happen. I have no idea if I am going to poop myself, right now, a grown woman.“ Thankfully my husband was working from home that day, so I called him to meet me outside, so I could make it to the toilet and he could attend to the baby. I mostly made it. Yes mostly. Wait is this story even related or I just sharing for no reason what-so-ever? Oh yeah, post baby bowel stuff, that qualifies, right?
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OMG, I’m crying I’m laughing so hard!!! My in-laws have a policy that once you’re family, farts should not have to be stifled. One of my biggest challenges as a wife is to not bust out in giggles everytime my MIL rips one, lol!
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How powerful are childhood memories? It’s just tooting funny that, what, 20 years later in which you have lived so many lives, you could come full circle and find yourself in an identical situation with someone from your past for a terrific moment of (flatulent) de ja vu. Oh the hilarity!! There is something so precious about this coincidence! Loved this post, Sarah!
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Oh Sarah, I am still afraid of laughing (the irrational fear that your uterus is going to fall out does eventually fade, right??) and I think I’m going to have to stay away from here for a few more days. So sorry this happened to you, but thank you for sharing!
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Oh, my gosh, I about died laughing. I once had an incident at camp where I farted during the general singalong gathering during a quiet moment — and then wouldn’t cop to it. My cabin mates all hated me, because they were sure everyone thought it was one of them, then. So if anyone from Woodbine is reading — yes, it was me. I admit it.
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HILARIOUS- reminded me of when I was in the 6th grade in history class, we were all in a circle and it was dead silent. I farted on a metal chair and it reverbed through the whole class. EVERY junior higher in my class said “EWWW!“ and picked up their chairs and moved away from me. I was left sitting there alone, and the teacher was not amused. I also got a reputation from that, all the way to college where I was presented the “Fart Award” from my floor. I feel your pain, sista.
By Sabrina on February 02, 2011
Oh my goodness, I am so sorry! What a horrible moment that must have been for you! What a crazy coincidence…hard to believe it is true. Unfortunately some people just never grow up.