Sarah, as all children are individual, I think they all wean themselves differently. What made me saddest when my youngest weaned is that my life had moved into another phase, whether or not I was ready. I was done birthing and nursing babies.
A thought I had about your adoption process: if things move quickly and if you should chance to adopt an infant, you might be able to nurse that child. Just a thought, keeping in mind that life is what happens while you are busy making plans.
It just tears my heart to hear you say that Aurora’s life is a blood price you had to pay for another child. I am one who believes that very little happens for a reason. Your two miscarriages happened because of random biochemical events. You have nothing to pay for. I wish you the best as you add to your family.
Mitzie - We’ve thought of that too, that perhaps if we adopt an infant I may be able to nurse. We’ll see, of course, but for right now it looks like adopting through the foster care system might mean that nursing the child is off the table. We were initially led to believe that it would be fine, but were recently told that nursing a child during the foster period (a minimum of six months before the adoption can be finalized) is illegal in California.
I don’t have any idea what to think about that.
I can also see how weaning our youngest will be more emotional. I think that I will be much more emotional about milestones with our youngest. With the first kid, it’s hard not to wonder what comes next!
As a Mother who has nursed three babies, it will be a big deal when she is finally done. I think it always is- whether you nurse for 10 months or 43 months. Such a connection that we share with our babies.
I don’t need to say this because I am sure you already know it, but you are doing an amazing job.
We are going through the same thing right now at 25 months, we are down to one maybe feeding a day. Some days nothing. I am okay with whatever Bailey needs, I have done this for her and her alone. I will miss those times, and honestly they have changed over 25 months. I think you have done such an amazing job and Charlotte will Thank you one day :) <3
I think it’s so wonderful that you’re adopting. Are you hoping to do international or domestic?
Does the California law specify “breastmilk” or nursing? Because until the adoption is finalized you could always pump & bottle feed, and then switch to nursing when it’s legal. What a silly law anyway…
My Gracie just turned 2 and my baby is now 6 months (where has the time gone?), and I am tandem nursing. I cannot imagine Gracie ever stopping..ha! She’s an addict. I make her feed from the right breast and my baby Tatum on my left breast…but she much prefers “Brothers Milk.“ She calls is “Cake!“ Ha!!! Apparently baby’s milk is much better than Toddlers!
Anyway, I’ve assumed that I’ll be nursing her til college, so this gives me hope that someday she will wean on her own:).There really isn’t a lot of information out there about weaning toddlers. We’re not there yet (18 months) but I’ve tried to read up about it some, and have to say I’ve been bewildered at the lack of info out there. Or maybe I’m looking in the wrong place?
I always assumed I’d get pregnant while nursing, and then taper off then, if I decided not to tandem nurse. But, so far, not pregnant.
I love MC’s idea of pumping and bottle feeding, even as a stop-gap measure.
I am so impressed that you are able to look at how you are feeling and know that it means you are or aren’t ready for another pregnancy. That is so important to acknowledge and follow. And I hope this isn’t presumptuous or condescending. My heart also hurt when I read the line about the blood price. But I couldn’t help but think that that is what siblings do for the one another. They give blood to each other. And although it usually doesn’t cost the giver his/her life, the idea of a blood donation instead of a blood price resonates with me.
I’m not trying to change your ideas or decisions, just maybe trying to reframe things a bit. Hope this wasn’t too clunky.i know this has nothing to do with this post, but i love your new “about me” section ! and your hair has gotten so long ! pretty !
i think being able to admit that you aren’t ready for an other pregnancy makes you stronger than you think.. admitting a weakness is so hard. it needs to be done to keep going, but still ! i know i don’t always have the courage to admit i’m not ready for something, not strong enough
i can’t imagine the price, the heaviness of missing babies. all the time, every day. (HUG)
I had a hard time with weaning, even though my daughter was just a week or two away from THREE years old! but still, I missed it. but she was ready, they know when they are ready….my niece nursed until she was SIX! now that I would not have wanted!
I am so sorry that you haven’t been able to have another baby, but yOU WILL, however it happens, adoption or not. I just know you will! I wanted about 3-4 children, but I only have TWO, but you know, at 41, I am pretty dang happy with that!
plus I didn’t realize the challenges that would come with my oldest high strung, anxiety ridden, OCD etc. so it’s a blessing I only had two at this point, that’s all I can handle!!
much love to you and prayers too!
tarahttp://blissedoutbaby.blogspot.com/2011/11/weaned-at-30-months.html
Here’s my recent experience with weaning…
Thought your readers would enjoy as well! :)

By Taryn on November 28, 2011
I know what you mean about the underwhelmingness of weaning a toddler; we just hit the 22 month mark, are down to two feedings (both nighttime ones), and I gotta say that I wont be sad to see them go. I’m kinda looking forward to having my body all to myself again.