A pregnancy update.
May 09, 2012

In case you are wondering (and you probably are not, but my dad would have soooo much less ammunition against me if my blog went without my trademark habit of oversharing), the last eleven days in this house have been 100% vomit-free.  None of my other pregnancies have involved morning sickness – hardly even a whisper of nausea – but the first trimester of this particular Operation Sacred Vessel was predominantly spent in a fetal position on the couch.

I sometimes mixed that pattern up by assuming a fetal position on the bathroom floor as well.  Sneezes and yawns were particularly dangerous as they could quickly turn from something benign into something that had me hovering over the toilet begging for mercy.  For awhile there, I was even waking up in the middle of the night for the sole purpose of throwing up dinner, like all that transference of breakfast and lunch into my septic tank wasn’t quite enough.

And do not EVEN get me started on the dreaded task of brushing my teeth.

But then, suddenly, it started to wane.  I still have rough days – and nearly every evening is spent lounging about on the couch like a useless lump – but I can now perform basic human functions without feeling like death warmed over.  Two days ago, I actually found a dirty dish that had escaped from us and incubated its very own ecosystem and I was able to wash the whole thing out without retching once.  And yesterday I walked into the produce section of a market and did not immediately empty the contents of my stomach on the grounds that I could smell that one rotten avocado in the dumpster three miles away.  I can even imagine a day when I might be able to hammer out a blog entry again without my brain turning off halfway through because I’m too exhausted to spell my kid’s name.

I know, I know.  What will I blog about next?!  Banana slugs or ear wax?!  BECAUSE THEY’RE BOTH MORE INTERESTING!  But seriously: this is actually big news around here.

Today I might even drag my sorry ass outside and take some pictures.  We are fourteen weeks and two days down this path and I am at that point in a pregnancy where Donald can tell that I’m showing and I can tell that I’m showing and people who know me and see me frequently can tell that I’m showing…but everyone else thinks I just need to lay off the potato chips.  It’s freaking awesome.  Say what you will about that “warmed up” effect of subsequent pregnancies, the truth of the matter is this: if I’m going to spend seven weeks puking my brains out, I sure as hell better have a uterus the size of Russia to show for it.  Otherwise, that’s just a lot of wasted ice cream is what that is.

Unless my midwife is reading this.  In that case, it’s a lot of wasted edamame and summer squash.


And look!  I managed to keep my kid alive through it too!  I’m winning all the way around!

** Charlotte is two years and nine months old.  I am fourteen weeks pregnant.


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  1. By karen on May 09, 2012

    So where is the picture of the bump? We all want to see it! I got my psoitive yesterday and am thrilled to hear any pregnancy news even if it means barfing. And the smell thing, I totally feel you there. I am so excited for you and the little one! And I’m so glad you are feeling better. I am really hoping to gloss over morning sickness but we will see.

  2. By on May 09, 2012

    This post brought me joy (and laughter)! My favorite line, “Unless my midwife is reading this.  In that case, it’s a lot of wasted edamame and summer squash.“ Ha, ha! :) Also, that last pic of Charlotte in the tree is so beautiful! What a wonderful smile she has!

  3. By on May 09, 2012

    Girl. Both pregnancies i had severe hyperemisis, and if your playing at home that’s severe nasuea and vomitting due to pregnancy, for 9 months. had to be medicated, horrible, every hour with out the meds I would throw up, and on the meds is more like every 3 hours. At the end, I was thrilled that I kept arianna alive. 9 months of her life are kind of a blur, but damnit if that kid wasn’t still kicking, and bathed…on occasion lol. So you go mama!!!

  4. By on May 09, 2012

    Glad to hear you are feeling better!!  When I was pregnant for my daughter I went through a similar thing with throwing everything up….and I mean everything….even water! The worst part of all is that I waited tables at a seafood restaurant during this lovely time…..I vividly remember throwing up off the back loading deck many times!!!

  5. By Ellery on May 09, 2012

    Haha, I’m with Carlyn.  With my son, I had, what I thought then, was bad morning sickness.  Then I got pregnant this time and have spent several times in the hospital with hyperemesis.  Zofran is my friend and I have decided that I’m going to eat, whether or not I see it again, because the baby needs nutrition.  I’m almost to the third trimester and spend everyday walking the line of nausea.  Fun…

    I’m glad that your nausea is letting up.  It’s incredibly hard to entertain a toddler from the couch or hanging over the toilet.

  6. By on May 09, 2012

    yay for winning all around!

  7. By Sarah Christensen on May 09, 2012

    Karen - I haven’t really taken any yet!  Today, hopefully!

    Ellery and Carlyn - UGH.  A friend of mine had hyperemesis during her pregnancies too.  She had to be put on bedrest at 14 weeks with the first and earlier with the next two, was heavily medicated, the whole nine yards.  One of my closest friends, who also had hyperemesis during her pregnancy and was medicated and it was just unbelievably awful to watch, had the unhappy genetic twist of being sick for another six months coming down from the hormones and meds postpartum.

    Women who go through that absolutely amaze me.  Carlyn, the fact that you went through it twice shows phenomenal strength.  I can tell already that this pregnancy isn’t really “bad” morning sickness as compared to so many women, but it was bad enough for me to consider only adding to my family through adoption from here on out.  You’re incredible!

  8. By on May 09, 2012

    Ellery, zofran… Best thing on the planet. I landed my pregnant butt in the hospital on a few occasions. Both pregnancies, I could not eat anything healthy, it always came back up so I ate like hell and it stayed down. I was never happier than after I had my girls and ate watermelon, and asparagus!! Sad but true.

  9. By on May 09, 2012

    Six months of morning sickness with my first, The doctor told me that pregnancy was not a time to diet and he would stick me in the hospital on a supervised feeding schedule if I had not gained weight by my next exam. Can you imagine?  I could only keep down scrambled eggs with PACE piquante sauce and watermelon. Could not step foot into a grocery store, stayed on the deck while DH cooked and ate his dinner and heaved at the sight of hamburger commercials on the TV.  Not so bad the second time around, thank heavens.

  10. By on May 09, 2012

    Well thank you Sarah. It was hell. I would suck on an ice cube to wet my mouth and vomit from that. Every hour on the hour, I could time it. Blah. I vowed I won’t do it again, back spasms, broken blood vessels on my face whites of my eyes completely red. It’s so violent. I never enjoyed being pregnant, to hellish lol.

  11. By Megan R. on May 09, 2012

    I never once threw up during my pregnancy, but I sort of wished I would in hopes of feeling better.  I was just nauseated 24 hours a day for the first 21 weeks.  I could be upstairs and KNOW as soon as my husband would open the refrigerator without him saying a word.  It took all of my energy to shower, which I did sitting down / laying down.  Thank goodness I didn’t have a toddler at that time to try to care for…that would have been brutal. So, kudos to you for keeping Charlotte alive and for surviving yourself!  Yay!  And, yay for taking more pictures.  I could look at pictures all day, and I love seeing yours!  Here is sending strength and vomit-free days to you!

  12. By momiss on May 09, 2012

    Glad you are feeling better!! :)

  13. By on May 09, 2012

    No uteruses the size of Russia allowed! Believe me, this is not what you want. Mine is huge because of a lot of excess amniotic fluid. Turns out having a ginormous uterus makes your cervix efface waay too fast. I was sure I’d be pushing out a 10 lb baby as my husband and I were both big ole babies, but now I’m hoping he’ll be 6 lbs when my cervix gives out! Lucky for me, he is measuring large. Between 2-4 weeks ahead of my due date. Never knew I’d be so happy about a huge baby!

  14. By elizabeth Mackey on May 09, 2012

    I remember the tooth brush being the enemy for a long time. At least you actually vomited…I always dry heaved until all my muscles were so sore I would just collapse into bed and pray for mercy. The steam in the shower made me gag too!!

    The second child, was similar, but ten times more tired and feeling like I was in a tunnel with no light at the end of it.
    Hang in there, hopefully it will wane even further, and you will be your old peppy self again :)

  15. By on May 09, 2012

    With my first, there were days I wouldn’t brush my teeth before work. I kept a spare in my desk and would wait for the stomach to settle before eve attempting it.

    Number two was much easier… I could just be a slob and hide in the house. Lol

  16. By Katie on May 09, 2012

    Where is that baby bump???? Can’t wait to see a pic!

  17. By Blythe on May 09, 2012

    Not only alive, but so darn cute!

    I’m so glad for you that the nausea is diminished! Honestly, that sounds like the WORST. Hopefully the rest of the pregnancy is uneventful, but exciting! (I’m sure those two can be combined and balanced.)

  18. By Heather on May 10, 2012

    Zofran was my savior this time around.  With my first I was over the toilet so much I threw a rib out of place from the violent motion.  So as soon as I started to feel sick with this one I begged the doctor for mercy.

    I still felt awful most of the time but I didn’t throw up and was able to eat a little which was leaps and bounds above the last pregnancy.

    Hopefully your morning sickness will go completely away and you can start to really enjoy it.

  19. By on May 15, 2012

    Those trees are amazing! you mind me asking where in southern california they are located


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