If you can solve this riddle, I will be in awe of you forever.
June 20, 2012

Yesterday when I was carrying her on my hip, Charlotte saw something that she wanted six feet off the ground in the pantry.  Ten minutes later, she had it.

I have no idea HOW she did it.  There are no step-stools or ladders in the pantry.  She had not moved her dining room chair.  We have a three-shelf bookcase where we keep cookbooks, cloth napkins, and kitchen towels – but climbing it would not have helped her reach an item on the other side of the pantry.  There are no low shelves for her to climb.  The basket of dish towels in need of laundering had not been overturned to use as a stool.  She can climb up doorways, but that would have still left her several feet away from the item.  Even the large bins where we keep grains for the chickens would not have helped her.

The only thing I can imagine is that either: a) my child sprouted wings, flew, then sucked the wings back into her body, or b) the food item wriggled past the three jars it was wedged behind and fell down.

Admittedly, neither of these situations seems particularly likely.

I asked Charlotte how she obtained the item.  She said “you gave it to me.”  But since I am not prone to memory loss, especially when it comes to giving my child food, I think we can all agree that this is a blatant lie.

The mystery is driving me crazy.  I keep stopping in my tracks, walking to the pantry, and puzzling over it.  How?  HOW?  HOW?!  Did she climb?  Did she use a stick to knock it off?  A broom?  But the broom was outside and the doors were locked.  Maybe she unlocked the door and had the foresight to replace it when she was finished?  That seems unlikely, considering that she periodically lacks the foresight to open the toilet.  And that, unlike complex food theft, is a process she’s familiar with and repeats several times daily.

I wish this were the sort of brain teaser that came with an answer key on page 48.  I cannot believe I have been so thoroughly outsmarted by someone who believes that people sneeze because fairies fly into their noses to steal their boogers.  I mean, REALLY?!

Charlotte turns three next month.  If this is a glimpse of what three looks like, I am completely fucked.

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  1. By on June 20, 2012

    she secretly befriended your pantry ghost, duh !

  2. By Heather on June 20, 2012

    Certainly, if fairies cause sneezes then a fairy helped her get the food down. She was like, little fairy, you can have my boogers if you will get me that food. And the fairy was like, sure thing little lady! Ha.

  3. By momiss on June 20, 2012

    This one has be laughing.  I don’t know how she did it, but isn’t parent hod humbling?  LOL Get used to it, she will soon have an accomplice!  Have fun!!

  4. By on June 20, 2012

    Telekenesis, obviously.

  5. By on June 20, 2012

    Sarah, if you every figure it out could you do an update? I would love to know how she did it. Although, in your “Daily” section you did tell us all about how good of a climber she is…..maybe that has something to do with it. 

    This reminds me of when my son mysteriously got out of his crib all by himself when he was 11 months.! He would just climb up the side and flip himself over the top and climb down. At that point I knew I was in trouble. It was a little scary the first time waking up to my son at my beside and not knowing how he got there!

    Ya you are fucked! She is ADORABLE!!!!

  6. By on June 20, 2012

    This sounds like an awful case of Mommy Brain.

    I’ve done that before too. Isla asked for some water and my brain and body automatically gave it to her without even consulting me. Later, I saw her with her water, I asked her how she got it and she told me I gave it to her. I have no recollection of this, but it was water in a cup that was up in a cupboard. She can’t reach the cupboard or the tap and no one else was home. I must have given it to her.

  7. By on June 20, 2012

    Um, you are pregnant. That automatically rules out your brain from functioning properly. I would bet you gave it to her.

  8. By Court on June 20, 2012

    I second the mommy (pregnancy?) brain vote.  I’m guilty of doing stuff like this too!  A few weeks ago, I gave my son a GLASS of water.  Set it right down on his tray and didn’t even think about it.  He laughed and squawked at me until I realized what I’d done. 


  9. By Sarah Christensen on June 20, 2012

    I don’t know, the only reason I’m pretty sure I didn’t give it to her is because *I* need a stool to reach it.  So I would have had to get the stool, get the food, give it to her, and then put the stool back without thinking about it?

    I guess it’s possible.  I did pour cranberry juice on top of her eggs the other day for no apparent reason lol.

  10. By on June 20, 2012

    Trust me…3 is much worse than 2, unfortunately. Kellen does things everyday that just boggle my mind.

  11. By tara pollard pakosta on June 20, 2012

    that’s called mommy brain, I am betting you can’t remember because of pregnancy brain LOL!

  12. By on June 20, 2012

    We have a lot of drawers in our kitchen, and I tell my son all the time do not stand in the drawers you will break them. He finally started listening, and now uses the KNOBS as a ladder. I can only imagine this is going to get worse.

  13. By on June 20, 2012

    Nicole, as the mother of two boys I cracked up at your comment.

  14. By Megan R. on June 21, 2012

    Yeah, you are totally screwed.  I am thinking you were NOT involved.  Small people have big brains and an even bigger need for exerting their independence.  They can do amazing (scary) things.  Finnley has been scaling our countertops to reach the “snack cabinet” since she was 2.5.  One day she just showed up with a snack in her hand.  Then I caught her in the act another day and she said “look, I’m on the counter again!“.  We are all totally screwed!!!

  15. By on June 21, 2012

    This is completely unrelated to the discussion of the post but I just had to comment on this picture. Sarah, I think this is the first picture I have seen where I have really thought that Charlotte looks like you! I don’t know if it is a coincidence or what, but for most of the people I know, baby #1 looks like the father and baby #2 looks like the mom. Maybe the next one will be your mini-me! I just loved this picture of Charlotte though because she was so serious and focused and it looks like an expression I have seen in some pictures of you. Very cute!

  16. By Sarah Christensen on June 21, 2012

    Another Sarah - I think you might be on to something =)  Over time, Charlotte still looks more like Donald than she does like me…but it’s pictures where she looks serious and concentrated that people think she looks like me.  It’s cool that you picked up on that; usually it’s just family who notice.  Donald is goofier and I’m more serious, so I think that’s why?

    I’m already wondering what #2 is going to look like and who he/she will resemble.  I’d love to see a little resemblance to my side of the family lol.

  17. By Katie @ Miss Tweedle on June 21, 2012

    I’m laughing out loud!

  18. By on April 17, 2013

    I had a childhood friend who would climb walls/door ways by placing one foot against the wall/door jam and the other foot on the opposite wall/side and then slowly inch herself up until she could touch the ceiling. Not sure how large your pantry is but maybe?? Wow. Clever kid regardless.





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