In which I prove to you once more that I have really and truly gone off the deep end.
July 30, 2012

At some point last week, I suddenly and inexplicably kicked into baby preparation mode.  It has gone a little bit like this:

Upon waking up every morning: AHHHH!  The house is a mess!  How are we ever going to raise another baby and adopt a toddler in this chaos!  WE NEED TO CLEAN RIGHT NOW!  I WANT THIS PLACE SPIC AND SPAN IMMEDIATELY!

Two hours later: My feet hurt.  I think I’ll sit down for a moment. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

An hour after that: AHHHH!  The yard is a disaster!  How am I ever going to plant a garden next spring if we don’t get our asses in gear?  *sob uncontrollably over what can safely be called NOTHING*

Two hours later: Whatever.  Spring planting is, like, six months away.  I’m tired.  I think I’ll just rest for a moment.  Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

An hour after that: AHHHH!  I am so hungry!  How am I ever going to get through this pregnancy if I can’t even remember to EAT?!  I am so tired of being pregnant.  WAH!

Ten minutes later: Oh, the baby’s kicking.  How sweet.  I love being pregnant!  *blissful sigh*

An hour after that: AHHHH!  We have so much work to do in the house before the baby comes!  We need to paint the living room!  And prepare the kids’ room!  And the dining room!  OH MY GOSH, WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE IF WE DON’T FINISH THE DINING ROOM!

Fifteen minutes later: Forget that nonsense.  I’m exhausted.  A nap sounds good.  Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Fifteen minutes after that: *wakes up suddenly* DIAPERS!  I need to unpack diapers!

Five minutes later: Eh.  Maybe after that nap.

Five minutes later: CLOTHES!  I need to unpack clothes!

Fifteen minutes later: Why the hell did I tape this box shut?  Whatever.  I’ll do this later.  I’m tired.

Five minutes after that: I wonder how to make raspberry truffles?  Maybe we can dehydrate my placenta, ground it into a powder, and make our own raspberry chocolate placenta truffles.  Hm.  I could probably get behind that..

An hour later: PLACENTAS ARE SO GROSS!  No way am I eating that thing!

Another hour later: It’s just a placenta.  Why not try it once and see what I think?  I probably won’t even be able to taste it if it’s mixed in with enough chocolate.  I’ll bet it stinks, though.  I wonder if I can employ someone else to dehydrate it.

Ten minutes after that: Forget the placenta!  WITCH HAZEL PADS!  I NEED TO REMEMBER WITCH HAZEL PADS!  WITHOUT ALCOHOL!  Where on Earth do you find alcohol-free witch hazel pads?  Maybe this doesn’t exist.  I better freak out about this for a little while.

Ten minutes after later: Gosh, I’m tired.  Maybe I’ll just rest for a moment.  Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

If you would like to have a clear picture of what it is like to live with me right now, I think you should imagine a lumbering giant of a man standing in the middle of a pile of rubble wondering WHAT THE FUCK just happened.

Yeah.  That’s basically it.  But at least this time I’m not driving around convinced there are dead bodies in my trunk, right?  Baby steps, people.  Baby steps.


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  1. By on July 30, 2012

    I choose one major chore thing to do everyday, like clean the kitchen. If I get that done, I had a productive day and I don’t feel overwhelmed the next day.

    Keep a list! Write all those crazy “I need to do RIGHT NOW!“ on a list, it’ll help not freak out so much.

    But you also cried over brownies, so maybe all your sanity is already gone. :)

  2. By Heather on July 30, 2012

    This cracked my ass up! I’m not even pregnant and those are the kinds of thoughts that go through my brain!!! AAAhhhh!

  3. By on July 30, 2012

    OMG funny!  Damn those pregnancy hormones. And no way would I eat a plancenta. Say what you will about the benefits but I saw a cat eat hers and no way.
      I would like to add that I am commenting only for myself. If anyone wants to eat their own placenta, I have no problems with that.

  4. By on July 30, 2012

    Honey, I was pregnant for 36 total months the first 6 years of our marriage. My husband just learned to walk away

  5. By Heather on July 30, 2012

    Mitzie, this comment “I would like to add that I am commenting only for myself. If anyone wants to eat their own placenta, I have no problems with that.“ made my day! Um, yeah, if you can eat that thing, go straight ahead. I just know I cannot choke one down!! :)

  6. By Sarah Christensen on July 30, 2012

    Cynthia - I don’t think there’s any arguing the point; my sanity definitely left the building awhile ago =P

    Mitzie - I’m not sure I’m into the idea either lol.  I go back and forth alot.  We’ll see!

  7. By Desiree on July 30, 2012

    Hahahaha lol! I remember those days! This made me laugh soo hard that I had difficulty typing this comment. P.S.-Can you really dry you placenta and eat it? Hmm….interesting!

  8. By on July 30, 2012

    HAAHAHHAHAHA!!

    OMG your inside my head aren’t you?!!? Well maybe not, because I go back and forth every five minutes about having a VBAC or another C-section. Re-painting the baby room even though were having another boy, or leaving it the way it is because a long nap sounds SOOOOO much better.

  9. By on July 30, 2012

    Haha, raspberry placenta truffles! Seriously though once they’re ground up and put into those tiny capsule, they look exactly like my prenatal vitamins capsules only smaller. I wouldn’t ever eat raw or cooked, only unrecognizable.

  10. By on July 30, 2012

    If you’re close to San Diego, I’ll encapsulate it for you!

  11. By on July 31, 2012

    I have just a bottle of witch hazel with aloe. Couldn’t you just find some of that and some cloth pads and soak them in it? Then you don’t have to worry about it anymore :)

  12. By on July 31, 2012

    HI Sarah!
    I love that your not finding out the sex of the baby but I was wondering if you have “feeling” what it might be. With all 3 of my babies I had intuition on either a boy or girl….do you have feeling?

  13. By on July 31, 2012

    LOL!!! Why didn’t I ever go through this?? I was soooo zen about my pregnancy, it was ridiculous.

    Can’t wait to “meet” the baby behind the neuroses. :D

  14. By on August 01, 2012

    This is so great… it’s like you’re in my head.
    I’m 34 weeks pregnant with #4 and I think this baby came with a free side-order of gestational bipolar disorder. I’m either frantically organizing/decorating/painting/cleaning while sobbing that my entire house and yard doesn’t look exactly like Pinterest, or I’m laying on my couch watching Hulu for hours while letting the kids get their own snacks and thinking, “F it, these are my last few weeks of lazing around and sleeping in, I’m going to enjoy it.“

  15. By elizabeth Mackey on August 03, 2012

    So glad to see your growing little tummy :)

  16. By on August 04, 2012

    Bahaha this is so me right now! I am 32, 33 weeks now? (Yeah, I’ve lost track) so I am nesting, plus it is warming up here in Oz so I am getting the spring cleaning urges as well. On the other hand, being pregnant and having a 17 month old is exhausting so I am only getting one major task done each day before I pass out and can’t move for the rest of the afternoon!


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