26 weeks: Growing a baby.  Please do not disturb.
April 07, 2009

The human body is weird.  And the pregnant human body is beyond weird.  Milk leaks out of my breasts.  Everybody in the world aggravates me.  The baby wakes me up at night.  I must pee more than anyone else in the world.  My organs are constantly pummeled.  DO NOT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE SHORTNESS OF BREATH.  Every now and then, my belly stretches in a direction I never thought possible and then I’m running down the hallway screaming HOLY SHIT, WHAT THE FUCK, A HAND!!! at my husband.


© 2009 Helios Media, Inc.  Please click here to see this image on Flickr.

Weird, right?

My belly button is still refusing to pop out, even though I thought it was well on its way a month ago, and pretty soon we are going to need to have a talk about this.  When I laugh?  It pops out.  When I bend over?  It pops out.  When I sit down?  It pops out.  When the baby kicks anywhere within two inches of my belly button?  IT POPS OUT.  The constant popping in and popping out and popping in and popping out is making me quite sore.

Did you hear that, Universe?  MY BELLY BUTTON IS SORE!

The other VERY PECULIAR thing about pregnancy is HOW your body stretches and changes and grows.  At twenty-six weeks, I have gained fourteen pounds and am what people like to refer to as “all baby.”  For years, I was under the impression that “all baby” was a compliment, but it turns out that ALL BABY means that I look like somebody attached a basketball to my abdomen.

Now, at the risk of sounding like I didn’t pass the second grade, I have to admit that the whole basketball-attached-to-my-abdomen thing has been a bit of a surprise.  Boys and girls, are you ready for this one?

THE BASKETBALL BELLY DOES NOT DETACH.

I know this is OBVIOUS, but before Donald and I decided we wanted to build a family together, I only encountered pregnant women in brief spurts of a few hours here and there.  So even though intellectually I knew that the belly and the woman were a PACKAGED DEAL, the actuality of it has sort of shocked me.

Not being able to shelve the belly overnight has put an enormous dent on my sleeping habits and means that I have long relinquished my favored sleeping position for my left side.  This is exasperating.  I WANT TO SLEEP ON MY STOMACH, DAMN IT.  But there’s this enormous SOMETHING that hardly lets me roll out of bed, much less roll onto my stomach.


© 2009 Helios Media, Inc.  Please click here to see this image on Flickr.

The most significant milestone at this point in the pregnancy (besides the part where I have to OOF and OOMPH and GURGH in order to get out of bed) (and besides the part where I suddenly became immensely irritable) (and besides the part where I had to retire my engagement ring and wedding band because my fingers are roughly the size of bananas) is that Donald and I have started THE COUNTDOWN.  We have approximately fourteen weeks to go, and that means that we have fewer than four months, fewer than one hundred days.

THIS ABSOLUTELY BOGGLES THE MIND.  How can a couple become a family?  How can TWO become THREE?

I love being pregnant, love it love it love it.  Pregnancy has brought me closer to my husband and has given me a remarkable trust in my body.  This experience has been both humbling and empowering.  I have had smug moments of “AM SACRED VESSEL BAD ASS, BITCHES!“ which is something I would gladly repeat, even though it also means feeling like a beached whale from time to time.  Pregnancy has taught me and changed me and made me feel phenomenally sexy.  Pregnancy is AWESOME.


© 2009 Helios Media, Inc.  Please click here to see this image on Flickr.

BUT, in about 2,400 hours, we will meet the Whippersnapper.  We will hold them and snuggle them and breath in their scent and whisper sweet nothings into their ear.  We will chant their name to them, run our fingers the length of them and say THIS IS WHO YOU ARE, and WE LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW.  We will cherish them and spend days and weeks and months and years memorizing every inch of their perfect, little body.

AND.  I.  CANNOT.  WAIT.


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  1. By Marin on April 07, 2009

    I had no idea that a bellybutton could pop multiple times. I thought it just kind of stayed that way once it did it the first time. Aren’t you lucky?

  2. By Jaye @ canadian-mom.ca on April 07, 2009

    hee hee! it sounds stupid now, but enjoy all those fucked up things (especially the belly button issue) because when it’s gone, in some screwed up way you’ll miss it all.
    p.s. my boobs started leaking at 15 frigging weeks. 15!! that was waaaaaaay too early for my own liking! oh well, keep enjoying it sarah! :-)

  3. By Tabitha (From Single to Married) on April 07, 2009

    so sweet.  I can’t wait for you!  And I’m glad you like being pregnant too, it gives me hope!

  4. By Stephanie on April 07, 2009

    I used to make this certain “oof” sound whenever I had to get up out of bed, off the couch, or basically move at all. It was half for real, half for pretend, because I always did it when Sean was around so he would be like “Ohhhh, poor thing” and baby me. But now, I can do it around Jasper and he looks up at me suddenly, like “hey! I know that!“ and it’s AMAZING.

    I am soooo incredibly excited for you guys!

  5. By Country-Fried Mama on April 07, 2009

    I loved being pregnant (twice), and it makes me sad to think we *might* be done with that part of our lives.  There’s nothing like that connection to an unknown person growing in your body. 

    Of course, one day that person might drive you completely mad by lying down on the floor of the grocery story and screaming, but you don’t need to know about those things right now.

    Enjoy every moment of the next 14 weeks.

  6. By Elizabeth Mackey on April 07, 2009

    Soon you will get to touch tiny feet and hands!  I’m jealous!!my babies are 19 and 23.
    My favorite part of trying to sleep at eight or nine months into is is that when you are on your side,a nd decide to switch positions… The baby tends to stay to the side you just left, then starts re-situating to follow you! Yikes!! Hope you don’t get the leg cramps that I got at eight months, because jumping out of bed quickly to sooth that cramp is not fun.
    Love following your progress.

  7. By Elizabeth on April 07, 2009

    You are lucky to be “all belly.“ I get fat everywhere. I even loose 30 lbs in the beginning because of vomiting, and I am of normal weight. At least I looked sexy until 30 weeks then it is downhill from there. I looked like a marshmellow toward the end.

    My bellybutton “pops” early and stays that way until about six weeks after delivery even the my uterus is back down to the size of a fist. Yuck. Then the skin peels on my belly button. No one ever told me about these things. lol

    I remember how miserabe it is to get out of bed. I felt like an old person trying to get up. You wouldn’t think that it would be that hard, but it is. It is a glorious thing after delivery to be able to jump around like a spring chicken again. I still (even four months after deliver now) think that it is joyous!

    Enjoy your pregnancy though. I have horrible pregnancies where I am nauseated from 10 DPO to 39 weeks, and I still think fondly about those special times. One day you’ll wonder how your baby ever fit inside you! It’s such an interesting process.

  8. By lceel on April 07, 2009

    OUr ‘babies’ are 27, 25, and 18.  Yes, 18 was an afterthought.  A surprise, actually.  And we enjoyed them all. So .... just hold on to that big grin as long as you can.

    As a Father, my experience with parenthood is much, much different than yours is going to be, as a Mom.  You will have a connection with your child/children that a man cannot possibly approach.  All well and good for you - and for baby.  But.  It does occasionally have a temporary drawback or two.  From time to time.  And I KNOW you know what I’m talking about.  You have, after all, been reading Veronica.  And she’s been running into those things like a car down the road on a hot summer night.  And they are all over her windshield.

    Just make sure you’ve got good wipers.  So to speak.

  9. By Angella on April 07, 2009

    Nothing is more beautiful that a baby belly. Um. Except maybe the baby itself.

    :)

  10. By Mary Marantz on April 07, 2009

    ok this post….was AWESOME!!! love it!

  11. By Jes the Bes on April 07, 2009

    In addition to the adorable bump shots, I love the mural behind you guys.  There just aren’t enough murals in the word.

  12. By erin on April 07, 2009

    I am so glad you are enjoying your pregnancy.  Especially since I am at that point (5 weeks to go) where I SO AM NOT.  When I told her I was just feeling huge and uncomfortable and tired and PREGNANT, she said, And you WILL get bigger, even though you can’t think how you ever could.  GREAT.

    On the other hand, I’m so loving the excuse of being pregnant.  It’s my get-out-of-jail-free card.  Bitchiness?  I’m pregnant.  DH has to wait while I pee for the umpteenth time in an hour?  Sorry, I’m pregnant.  Cook dinner?  Can’t, I’M PREGNANT, tough it out.  And the courtesy and helpfulness of strangers… LOVE IT.

  13. By Elly on April 07, 2009

    Oh wow, I’ve never heard of a sore belly button before! That’s kinda cute (apart from the hurting bit!).  And exciting about the countdown! Hopefully it flies by :)

  14. By Allison on April 07, 2009

    Holy crap, your belly button pops in and out?! That’s crazy!

    And I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again: You are a BEAUTIFUL pregnant woman.

    And it is just wonderful that you are so excited :)

  15. By Amy @ WriteBrained on April 07, 2009

    I’m so glad you’re enjoying the pregnancy. I was an “innie” until about my 30th week in both pregnancies.

  16. By Leah on April 07, 2009

    You look awesome, and I love that you’re loving yourself and the experience!

  17. By Dianna on April 07, 2009

    Is it strange that I’ve never met you, most likely never will and have only been reading your blog for a short while but am so excited to “meet” your baby?

  18. By Jennifer W. on April 07, 2009

    I felt the exact same way.  Even after she was born I would find myself missing her being with me.  I’m so happy you are enjoying it!  Keep reveling in your beautiful pregnant sexiness!

  19. By Tatum on April 07, 2009

    Enjoy the belly time, you will actually miss it.  Especially, on the days you’re running around after children.  They’re much easier to take care of in the belly. LOL

    Tatum


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