Our golden trimester.
April 16, 2009

Dear Baby,

In a matter of days, you and I will enter that glorious and uncomfortable final stretch of pregnancy called THE THIRD TRIMESTER.  Can you believe it?


© 2009 Helios Media, Inc.  Please click here to see this image on Flickr.

Yeah.  Neither can I.

I have heard the second trimester referred to as THE GOLDEN TRIMESTER, as if the past three months were meant to be filled with honey and myrrh and unlimited backrubs.  The past three months have been filled with none of the above, but your father HAS allowed be to abandon cooking altogether, so I’m not complaining.  The last time I set foot in the kitchen, there were dinosaurs roaming the Earth.

The truth is, kiddo, that as this pregnancy marches on, it is gradually becoming a little less enjoyable.  And this?  Well.  This I blame entirely on a little something called self-image.

I spend a ludicrous amount of time naked.  Ask your father.  He’s the sort of person who needs to be certain there are no people within a ten mile radius before he will even CONSIDER skinny-dipping.  He was shocked, SHOCKED!, the first time he saw me shimmy out of my clothes in the living room.  And don’t even get your father started on how often I eat breakfast in the nude.  He calls me THE EXHIBITIONIST.

The thing about pregnancy, though, is that your body changes.  And so, where dissatisfaction with my body never previously occurred to me, I suddenly find myself covering up.  Sure, my body is now executing all manners of superhero crap and I’m proud, but at the same time?  I just don’t recognize this body, with its lumps and rolls and orbs.  When I look in a mirror now, I cannot believe that THIS is me, that THIS is what I have become.

I really wish I’d worn a bikini more often when I had the chance.


© 2009 Helios Media, Inc.  Please click here to see this image on Flickr.

Somewhere between my inability to see my ankles and my sparkling new stretchmarks, I realized that I was emotionally attached to the physical body I once had.  It’s a little tough to part with that body, a little tougher than I thought it would be.  So I think to myself, GEE, GOLLY WHIZ, I cannot wait to be a mother!  But I follow that up with OH HOLY GOODNESS, what if I am some sort of mutant who never gives birth and I look like an over-inflated balloon FOREVER?!  What if I never feel NORMAL again?  What if I can never reclaim my body as MINE?  Then I follow THAT up by telling my husband to stop laughing at me and that NO, LOGIC AND I ARE NOT ACQUAINTED, thankyouverymuch!

And that’s when I started thinking GOLDEN TRIMESTER, MY ASS.

Love,
Momma


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  1. By kbreints on April 16, 2009

    You look fantastic… and I am sure that you will be one of those mythical creatures that can pull there pre-pregnancy jeans on 5 days after giving birth…

    :)

  2. By Clare on April 16, 2009

    So are you saying that your audience has no pregnant bikini shots to look forward to? Also, breakfast naked eating? Check. Breakfast naked making? Bad idea! Unless you are talking cereal.

  3. By Napmom on April 16, 2009

    Yeah - your body bounces right back… unless you gain too much weight (not telling you how much) like me!  Bathing suit season is coming.  I don’t think that the 5 donuts that I ate yesterday are helping my cause.

    You look great - the subtle changes won’t matter when you have your little pumpkin in your arms.

  4. By Tabitha (From Single to Married) on April 16, 2009

    What you’re describing is exactly the fear (among others) that I had with getting pregnant.  As frustrated as I am with my body sometimes, it’s still MY body and I know it quite well.  It’s strange to think of it changing and morphing into something I don’t recognize and doing it quickly too.  So yes, I understand your concern.  :)

  5. By Elizabeth Mackey on April 16, 2009

    Learn to embrace what ever comes when the pregnancy is over. I had to realize that my two girls forever ruined my tummy. My husband doesn’t care, so I just learned to embrace it. The only thing that would help would be to go under the knife, which I refuse to do.
    I remember getting my first stretch mark with the first pregnancy, and I thought at first that I had scratched myself, since I had never had them before! They showed up in my 7th month and kept on coming. I carried both girls so far in front of me, that I still had a nice waist line from behind. Maybe if you are carrying more rounder, you will escape this. I’ll cross my fingers for you.
    With the first baby, you will bounce back fairly quick though, so don’t worry, you look fantastic,and I’m not just saying that, you look pretty slim and trim, except for that beautiful pregnant tummy :)

  6. By Stephanie on April 16, 2009

    I completely and totally understand where you’re coming from. I have stretch marks above and below my belly button (I may or may not post photos—they aren’t TOO bad, in the grand universe of stretch marks), and also discovered another one after I had Jasper and my belly had gone down somewhat. On top of that, it was absolutely BIZARRE to see my weight hit 130, 140, and then 153. I had been the same size since I was like…15 or so, and it blew my mind that I gained so much in the time span that I did. I also carried Jasper far in front, which I think is how I got the marks I did.

    Post-pregnancy body is definitely tripping me out MUCH MORE than pregnancy body ever did. Now that Jasper’s no longer inside, and I have this small belly in front, and I’m still 15 lbs more than I’ve ever been, I have these huge (to me) boobs that take up space and impact the way I lay down to sleep or fold my arms…it’s weird.

    I’m actually planning to write a HUGE body post once Jasper is home. While he’s in the NICU it seems ridiculous to focus on things like how my body is, but I’m going to lay out all the details of my post-pregnancy (starting with two hours after giving birth) body and everything that’s happened so far. I don’t know if it will be your experience, but maybe it will help..?

    I do want to say you look BEAUTIFUL. You have such a wonderful belly! I know it’s kind of difficult to hear/believe that right now (at least, it was for me), but you really do. I also think it’s great that you posted this—too many women are worried about sounding like bad people or something if they publicly talk about the body developments that happen during pregnancy that aren’t awesome.

  7. By erin on April 16, 2009

    Your belly is so beautiful.

    I have exactly the same fears.  I have never in my life weighed so much and every time I think I am used to this new body, something changes.  Last week it was the swollen feet.  Who knows what it will be this week.  Then, just as I’m getting used to my 9-mos-pregnant body, I will give birth and then who knows where we will be.  I am terrified my body will never go back to “normal.“

  8. By Elizabeth on April 16, 2009

    I think that your “THIS” is gorgeous.  Go ahead with the bikini!!

  9. By toyfoto on April 16, 2009

    You’d be surprised how much weight you lose the first week ... especially if you’re “all baby.“ - Often it’s more than you gained. You may also be surprised at the fact that you may actually love the new shape your body takes on as a mother.  It really is golden.

  10. By Mommica on April 16, 2009

    Um, OK, you have a great pregnant body that will probably morph back into a great not-pregnant body almost immediately. Also, I love all your photos. Amazing.

  11. By Stephanie on April 16, 2009

    I meant to get back to youuuuu!!!

    We were going to use Sparrow for a girl, and the middle name probably would have been Iwalani (pronounced Eva-lani). I know Sean came up with it, but I’m not sure that there was any particular source of inspiration. I love that name though, and will probably use it for something at some point.

  12. By on April 17, 2009

    You are so right. Especially about the ‘should have worn more bikinis’ comment. I have thought that many times myself!  My husband called me ‘The Grinch’ when was pregnant… I didn’t know whether to laugh of cry. Still don’t. But. How adorable you look. It wasn’t until the end of my second pregnancy that I was able to enjoy how I looked. I specifically remember the moment too, when I caught my reflection in a glass door. You’ll get there. I think (along with the rest of the world) that you haven’t looked better (because I’ve known you for sooo long).
    I think the 3rd trimester is great because of the quickies. Seriously. Rrrrrrrrrar.
    And. About diapers. I LOVE FUZZI BUNZ. I also have bumkins (don’t get them, although they are all cotton) and I have bum genius which are second to Fuzzi Bunz (to me). But. Today is the big day for our Gro Baby diapers and I’ll let you know. Can you feel the suspense? I’ve got chills.

  13. By Monica on April 17, 2009

    Hi Sarah,
    I see you’ve found my blog and I finally found a moment to come see yours!  Congrats on your pregnancy!  I’m adding you to my Reader so I can catch all your posts.

  14. By micha b on April 17, 2009

    Thanks for stopping by my blog!

    Seriously girl, you are teeeeeeeny, even preggers. It is a weird thing, the whole pregnant body transition, but so amazing too. I have new respect for how little I was back when I thought I was “sooo fat” pre-baby and have so much more self-acceptance now than ever before. But if someone had told me that when I was in the 3rd trimester I think I would’ve clobbered them.

  15. By Melissa on April 17, 2009

    Thanks for visiting my blog.  You look fantastic!  Enjoy your blossoming body.  You may be surprised that you miss it one day when everything is back to “normal” (with the addition of some stretch marks).

  16. By Jennifer W. on April 18, 2009

    Aww, you sound so sweet and normal.  There is a picture of my brother and I on the beach that I used to look at and cringe and say “Uuuugh, look at those thighs!“ Then when I was feeling as big as a whale I saw that picture and only thought “WOW.  Look at those abs!“  Time marches on. Unfortunately our bodies march really, really hard.  That sweet baby will usher you into the Mommy club and you’ll learn to love your new body all over again.  I hope.  :)

  17. By Jill@ModernMommyBlog on April 19, 2009

    I’m sorry to tell you that your body WILL never be yours again.  Well, maybe in about 18 years.  I didn’t even give birth and I don’t feel like I have ownership of my body anymore.
    I’m sure you’ve heard this a gazillion times already but get as much sleep as you can now, go to the movies everyday, and go on a LOT of dates with your husband now while you can.
    You are going to LOVE being a mother but you are also going to miss things like sleep, and having a conversation with your husband with out a child screaming for attention every other word you say. :-)

  18. By Leah on April 19, 2009

    Yes, yes, yes.


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