No, REALLY.
April 18, 2009

Yesterday, a coworker approached me and rubbed my belly.  Then she told me that the baby was a girl.

I am gradually growing accustomed to these predictions.  I am carrying low, so the baby is a boy.  I have a taste for grapefruit, so the baby is a girl.  The baby is kicking alot, so the baby is a boy.  The weight gain is all out front, so the baby is a girl.  If you add my age to Donald’s age and divide by the number of times we had sex last August and subtract the number of doughnuts consumed during this pregnancy, and the number is odd, the baby is a boy.

These predictions always give me something to giggle about, because PLEASE.  Does anybody really believe that the gender of my child is determined by how many times I feel the kid kick?  Hands-down, though, the BEST prediction, the one that will result in the most laughs over the course of the next decade, is the one that came out of my coworkers mouth yesterday.

Apparently, I’m having a girl because I do not eat enough seaweed.

It must be a MIRACLE that boys are born at all in places like Kansas.


© 2009 Helios Media, Inc.  Please click here to see this image on Flickr.
Just, you know, FOR THE RECORD: neither of us eats seaweed.  Like.  Ever.

Have a happy weekend!


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  1. By wayoutnumbered on April 18, 2009

    Yes, I looooove all the predictions…and of course whoever happens to end up correct knows they’re just so incredibly gifted for making such predictions.  I loved your comment about wishing you had worn a bikini more…I purposely wore 2 pc. bathing suits AFTER my first 3 wore born just because I didn’t want that regretful feeling again.  After the 4th one though….never again!  I wish I’d wore them more…..

  2. By Susannah on April 18, 2009

    Ahhh, yes, I remember those predictions well! There are so many things said to you during pregnancy to which you just kind of have to give a blank smile.

    Here’s my prediction: it might be a boy. Or a girl. But I am 100% sure it will not be a giraffe because you’re carrying too low for that ;)

  3. By Ashletta on April 18, 2009

    Sweet! I had sushi last night. BOY, FTW!! Wait, does nori count? I mean, the seaweed is all dehydrated.

  4. By Jinxy on April 18, 2009

    The predictions are the weirdest thing.  One of my co-workers (at the time) was sure I was having a boy because my nose hadn’t spread out.  Even after my ultrasound said girl she still insisted it was a boy.
    At least its something to laugh at.

  5. By clare on April 18, 2009

    No sushi?

  6. By MotherOfBun on April 18, 2009

    How funny. Seaweed? Hmmm.

    Congrats on the baby. So very happy and excited for you!

  7. By violetismycolor on April 18, 2009

    I am betting on…a baby.  Whatever it is, shouldn’t you decide if you want to know or not?  And do you want all this unasked for prediction?

  8. By Elizabeth Mackey on April 18, 2009

    Too funny! I only listened to the ones where people just had a gut feeling. I had this random weird guy come up to me out of no where in a grocery store and say, “You are having a girl” and walked off. He never said anything else! Yep, I did have a girl :)

  9. By Jennifer W. on April 18, 2009

    People. Are. Dumbasses.

  10. By Elizabeth on April 18, 2009

    PS.  I just linked you on my blogroll.  I hope that’s okay.

  11. By Allison on April 19, 2009

    BWAHAHA. That is amazing!

    Isn’t it hilarious how many people will give your their predictions? Oddly enough, every single person that gave me one said boy, and he was. But I still don’t believe those things.

  12. By Jes the Bes on April 19, 2009

    Who the crap woud eat seaweed anyway. If that were true, we are lucky there are boys at all.

    BTW: That is a really cute picture of you two.

  13. By Hokie Deb on April 19, 2009

    —>I love it. Before I got pregnant everyone asked when I was going to have a baby. I liked to say that my husband and I were “just practicing.“ It always got an interesting reaction - good and bad.

  14. By kbreints on April 19, 2009

    I SO believed that my second was a boy… we did not find outon purpose…but my entire pregnancy was different… so I thought FOR sure it was a girl.

    Nope! Not only was it a boy… he looks EXACTLY like my first!

    One thing is for sure…. when you baby is born you will feel like you knew all along,... and OF course he/she looks like this!

  15. By Amber on April 19, 2009

    I have a boy and a girl, and although I’m a sushi fan and occasional seaweed eater, I don’t think my consumption increased in the 3 1/2 years between my daughter and son. Maybe it’s a cumulative effect? And if so, has my seaweed count been reset now that I have a boy, or will all subsequent children be boys because I’ve reached the magic quantity? OR, does it matter how close to conception I ate the seaweed?

    I need to know, I can’t just leave this to chance. Now that I know the magic seaweed and baby gender connection, anyway. ;)

  16. By the domestic fringe on April 19, 2009

    During my first pregnancy, everyone had me convinced that I was having a boy.  Without knowing the sex of my baby, I purchased clothes and other baby gear in blue.  People just talked me into having a boy and I did!

    Predictions don’t work all the time, but they worked for me.
    -FringeGirl

  17. By on April 19, 2009

    Isn’t it great how being pregnant opens the doors to strangers advice? Not really. I made a mistake by telling a lady (complete stranger) the name we planned for our first baby (a boy) and when I told her (mason) she replied “Well, there is still time to change it’. My pregnancy hormones responded “What, you want me to kick you where?“ Ok not really. But it went through my head. Fortunately we have not crossed paths since.
    Or do people ever ask you what you think it is? And then become disappointed because you aren’t getting a vibe either way?
    And I must admit. I have never tried seaweed myself. Where in the world do you work?!

  18. By Chelle on April 20, 2009

    Oddly enough there’s a research article floating on the web somewhere that says if you eat breakfast every day you’ll have a boy, if you don’t eat breakfast you’ll have a girl (during pregnancy of course).  I can’t remember the reasoning behind it and I doubt they proved whether or not it was realistic.

  19. By Katie on April 20, 2009

    That’s funny!  Are you waiting for an ultrasound to tell you or for delivery?  How fast is the heart beat?

  20. By gretchen from lifenut on April 20, 2009

    I have five boys and have never eaten seaweed. It isn’t abundant in Colorado.             

    One thing I’ve noticed, though: I’ve had asthma since I was four. It worsened during my pregnancies with the boys, but improved with the girls.

  21. By Molly Chase on April 21, 2009

    We found out what we were having both times (boy last time, girl this time.) With Max, there was absolutely no mistaking him for a girl on ultrasound. With this one, it was a purely tactical decision—do we keep all the boy clothes or send them to friends who have a younger boy?

    That being said, I totally understand why people decide not to find out. It doesn’t really matter, in the grander scheme—a baby is a baby is a baby, it’ll be born and you’ll be crazy about it and it’ll be just the right baby for you, regardless of the sex. I’ve never understood why people make predictions about the sex of someone else’s baby—seems a little insulting to me. I always try to make sure to say something totally inappropriate to someone who makes a guess at what I’m having, just to make them a little uncomfortable. Example: “Do you know what you’re having?“ “Yes. A baby.“

  22. By aimee on April 21, 2009

    At my baby shower we did an ice breaker where everyone went around and said how they were named. I was SHOCKED at the number of women in the room who said their parents came up with their name on the spot because the parents were CERTAIN they were having a boy. This was pre-regular sonograms and I was like, they were SO certain based on insert-random-old-wives-tale that they didn’t even bother to come up with a girl name just in case? Crazy!!


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