28 Weeks: Back and forth.
April 21, 2009

Reaching the end of the second trimester is a remarkably emotional experience.  It is not unlike teetering on the lip of your first high dive or gaping at the world from a ledge of a great canyon.  I am ELATED to be so close and I look forward to nestling my baby between my breasts and inhaling their sweet newborn smell.

© 2009 Helios Media, Inc.  Please click here to see this image on Flickr.

I cannot wait to welcome my child into this world.  I want to see my husband cradle the love we created together and I look forward to the innate knowledge that somehow we have brought into this world a person who is greater than the sum of us.  I am eager and impatient and the idea that I will feel my baby exiting my body is absolutely intoxicating.

There is always ON THE OTHER HAND, however.  And ON THE OTHER HAND, I am a little sad to see this go so quickly.  I am selfish: this baby is mine and I do not want to share him or her with the world.  I am overbearing: this baby is safe and I do not want to expose him or her to the perils he or she will face.  I am hypocritical: this baby is precious to me and I do not want to find that he or she is imperfect.

And so I am hesitant, made grievous by the idea that this pregnancy is flying by and will soon be over.  I am convinced that if I so much as blink, my child will be running off to college and I will have missed it all.

So I am trying to take pleasure in these last few months.  When the little irks of pregnancy appear, irks like waking up in a puddle of milk or having a sales associate tell me that maternity jeans have been discontinued or realizing that some baby squirms are quite painful or wondering when the Hell my labia became swollen, I remember how reluctant I am to watch my belly deflate sans baby.  My body may be different, but I am learning to enjoy it and to relish these changes.  It is these differences, some great and some subtle, that are making me a mother, after all.

© 2009 Helios Media, Inc.  Please click here to see this image on Flickr.

And besides, I worked hard for my own gravitational pull, DAMN IT.  I may as well cherish it while it lasts.

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  1. By Katelyn on April 21, 2009

    Great post.  Trust me, you will grieve the “loss” of having him/her all to yourself.  I think I cried the entire first week that I wanted her back inside me, but you will be happy and proud to “share” quickly. 

    I think it’s a boy, based on how you’re carrying, haha….do you have a gut feeling?  People SWORE to me I was having a boy, even after ultrasounds, but I knew from the moment of conception she was a girl and I was naming her Brooklyn.

    Welcome to the home stretch!

  2. By kbreints on April 21, 2009

    It won’t be long now that is for sure! But for me anyway… the last 10 weeks felt like an eternity! I am so impatient and I just wanted to meet them!!

    Believe me… you may miss being pregnant… but you will be so eveloped in your child you will not notice!

  3. By Alison (cluckandtweet) on April 21, 2009

    I never looked like you do when I was pregnant.  I do remember being in a maternity store and the woman stating that if she could be 7 months pregnant for the rest of her life, she’d do it in a heartbeat. 

    You will never think of your child as imperfect.  Annoying? yes.  Imperfect? no.  Just think of it as your chance to get to know one of your favorite people in the whole world.  It’s truly overwhelming.

  4. By Jes the Bes on April 21, 2009

    I am so ready for you to give birth because I can’t wait to see what he/she will look like.

    For the time being, you should give the baby a non genger name like “Schooner”. You’ll be saying things like, “I just felt Schooner kick!“ and “Oh, I have to pee again cause Schooner is playing soccer with my bladder.“ Next post is all about Schooner!

  5. By Elizabeth Mackey on April 21, 2009

    OH Man, I remember those exact feelings. When my last daughter was born, I didn’t want to even take her out side for a while, because I didn’t want her exposed to the dirty, loud world. That lasted only a week or so, then life went on and I shared her. I had such a good pregnancy with her, that when she was born, I wanted another right away!!

  6. By Meg on April 21, 2009

    I love the way you speak about your baby and your pregnancy. It’s refreshing. I read through other blogs of soon to be mothers and all I read about is complaining and not wanting to give birth because its “icky” and how they are scheduling c-sections and tons of other complaining (which is fine but its just depressing.)

    So, THANK YOU for reminding us all that child bearing, birth, and motherhood is still beautiful and amazing.

  7. By Dianna on April 21, 2009

    You look so great, Sarah.  I haven’t been reading your blog for that long, but it’s hard to believe you’re 2/3 of the way done.  Do you and Donald have any name ideas?

  8. By Julie Rivera on April 21, 2009

    Can I be as petite as you at 28 weeks?! :) I love your emotion. I am not an emotional person, I deal with things as they come, but find I fail to savor moments. I feel like you savor. You might miss pregnancy, but you will be SO busy savoring this little life, it will only be allowed fleeting moments of sadness. So much excitement ahead!

  9. By lceel on April 21, 2009

    There is a world of things, feelings, emotions, experiences, coming your way.  It’s like nature gives you this time of expectation to ready you for the whirlwind to follow.  Document as much as you can as you go along.  Pictures.  Blog entries, even if the only person that ever reads them is you.  Save things.  Little things.  All of that will come to mean a great deal as you, and your child, get older.

  10. By erin on April 21, 2009

    Oh, I feel the same way.  Only 3 weeks left and I am SO DONE with being pregnant - I was never someone who wanted to be pregnant in the first place, only to have a baby, and have not found the experience as joyful as you have - but at the same time I do not want to let her go from me just yet.  I’m not ready to let her out in the world or to share her with anyone.  I’m over being pregnant but so not ready to be done with it.

    And can you imagine - we are growing little human beings, from scratch!  Another little person will be part of our lives, and we made that!  I am just in awe of that.  Not even so much that Brian and I created this little being, but that my body made it happen.  MY BODY grew a person.  WOW.

    Oh - and my boobs leaked a little this weekend for the first time, and I thought of you!

  11. By theArthurClan on April 21, 2009

    I loved so much about being pregnant with my kiddos and most of my feelings were so beautifully written into your post.  You are right to enjoy these months of special time together.

    P.S.  Your photos are absolutely stunning!  I wish I could go back in time and have photos like that taken of myself when I was carrying my babies.

  12. By tracey on April 21, 2009

    I still miss being pregnant… It’s an incredible experience and you are right to want to memorize every part of it. But, like every stage in our lives, it must be temporary. I hope you continue to enjoy every aspect of it (even the icky ones).

  13. By Elizabeth on April 21, 2009

    And each and every moment is just as wonderful as the ones you have described.  Sounds like you are going to want more kids ;)

  14. By the domestic fringe on April 21, 2009

    I think I was the opposite of you.  I couldn’t wait to have my baby.  I didn’t love being pregnant, but then I was on bedrest too, so that’s kind of a bummer.

    Don’t worry, you’ll have at least a few sleepless nights and days spent on board games before your baby goes from birth to college. ;-)


  15. By Jennifer W. on April 21, 2009

    I am so happy you are enjoying this pregnancy.  I LOVED being pregnant and although I was elated to meet that perfect face when she was born, I really really just wanted to keep her with me and not share her with anybody else.  Of course I still hate sharing her with anybody else.  People keep telling me that will change one day, that I will be annoyed/irritated/dying to get away but she’s a year old now and I love every minute of that precious face.  Life is too short, I’m gonna love her while she’ll let me!  You are so beautiful pregnant!  (PS - that totally looks like a boy belly!)

  16. By The Cotton Wife on April 22, 2009

    I’m right here with you, Sarah! In fact… I have about 10 weeks to go.


  17. By Monica on April 22, 2009

    A few pieces of good news:
    - the third trimester goes SLOWLY, so you’ll have plenty of time to enjoy it!
    - If you breastfeed, you will find that you don’t need to share your baby all that often.  And if someone is holding him or her just a bit too long, just announce baby is hungry and steal them back!
    - Your baby will be perfect.  Even if your baby has sleep issues, health issues, is hideously ugly, spits up on your favorite shirt… he or she is perfect and you will find yourself just gazing at them at times wondering how you produced something so incredible.

  18. By Tabitha (From Single to Married) on April 22, 2009

    I love reading about your pregnancy experiences, it tells me what a good pregnancy can be like and gives me something to look forward to!

  19. By Stephanie on April 22, 2009

    Aww, this was really sweet. And if you think you’re impatient now, wait until you get to the last couple of weeks… hehe.. ;)

    Loved the pics.

    I’ve blinked a couple of times, it seems, and now I have a two year old. So don’t worry about just blinking once before you’re sending your child off to college. It’ll be about 8 blinks… at least. :)

  20. By Stephanie on April 22, 2009

    Oh and PS - I agree with Katelyn and Jennifer W - I was thinking in my mind the same. You have the basketball-boy shaped belly! That’s my prediction too! :)

  21. By Angela on April 22, 2009

    What gorgeous pictures. I wish I had taken more pictures of my belly.

  22. By Mommica on April 22, 2009

    Definitely cherish the pregnancy! When I was in labor, I was saying “I can’t! I can’t!“ What I really meant was “I don’t want to! I don’t want to!“ Partly because I knew the pain was about to get worse…but also because I really just liked being pregnant. I miss it. (Although raising my daughter is equally rewarding. :)

  23. By Megan (mommyesquire) on April 22, 2009

    Oh do I ever miss being pregnant.  And I was one of those pregnant women who did not love being pregnant while I was pregnant.  There were times after A was born that I actually would catch myself feeling movements.  Silly, I know.  Once you hold your baby though, you will feel immeasurable joy which is unmatched by anything else.

  24. By teetotaled on April 25, 2009

    I am just a couple of weeks further along than you are and I feel a lot of the same things. I know I will feel a bit sad to no longer have the baby in my belly, all to myself. I cherish my nightly “wake up call” when she starts thrashing around so hard around 2-3 a.m. that I am startled awake. We are two peas in a pod and as anxious as I am to actually see her I am glad to have a couple more months of having her all to myself.
    Wishing you a terrific 3rd trimester!





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