So this is motherhood.
January 06, 2010

When I was seven, I fell in love with all things pony.  My parents bought me a book about horses and pretty soon, I was begging them to stuff a half-ton animal into their suburban backyard.  Their refusal seemed to me to be the height of unfairness.  Did they not know, I wondered, what it was to love?  I would never again, I thought, love so well as I loved ponies.

A few years later, I fell in love with all things dolphin.  Clearly, I was a fickle little firecracker.

When I was seventeen, I fell in love with a boy.  We did quintessentially adolescent things like sit under the stars and talk about the meaning of life.  People told me that we were far too young to be so committed, but I was convinced that we would marry.  Those naysayers, I decided, had never experienced true love.  I had.  I would never again, I thought, love so well as I loved that boy.

A few months later, I fell in step with a different boy.  Once a fickle little firecracker, always a fickle little firecracker.

When I was twenty, I fell in love with Donald.  There were a million reasons that we might not work together, but somehow we did.  And we kept working together.  And we were pretty damned good together, if I do say so myself.  So I married him.  As I said my vows, I was struck by how much I adored him.  I would never again, I thought, love so well as I loved this man.

Leave it to childbearing to make a fickle little firecracker of me once again.  LIKE I NEEDED THE HELP.

Over the past five months, I have been slowly and happily and giddily falling in love with my daughter.  This time, the love eclipses itself time and time again, so that even the unwavering, unyielding love I hold for my husband is a pale light in comparison.

Last night, as I tucked Charlotte under the covers, I was struck by the awesome-ness one feels when one truly cherishes a child.  I will never again, I thought, love so well as I love this little girl.

And this time, I just cannot think of a single thing will ever top the object of my affection.

Is there anything sweeter than a slumbering babe?

Can you?

***  If you have a chance, I would really appreciate being nominated for “Best New Weblog” or “Best Kept Secret Weblog” at the 2010 Bloggies - both are blue-colored fields at the far right.  Please?  Pretty please?  Also, everybody who volunteered for this post can expect an e-mail later today.  Thank you, all of you!

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  1. By Heather @ The Joyful Kitchen on January 06, 2010

    although i don’t have children yet, i can imagine how you would completely and wholeheartedly adore the child you and the man you love created together.  once again, a beautifully written post and amazing pictures of your sweet girl!

    p.s. I voted for you yesterday :)

  2. By Debby Carroll on January 06, 2010

    As the mom of three grown daughters, I am an “expert” and I can tell you that Charlotte is gorgeous! Your blog is fun to read. I invite you to check mine out to see what happens to daughters when they grow up! (You’ll cherish the days with Charlotte even more!) If you enjoy my blog, please Subscribe. I’m working on building an audience for an upcoming book, too.Thanks! Debby

  3. By C @ Kid Things on January 06, 2010

    I’ve taken I don’t know how many photos of my kids sleeping. They’re some of my favorite pictures.

  4. By Sarah A. Schlothan Christensen on January 06, 2010

    C - They’re some of mine too, but I think they’re really hard to get.  When she’s asleep, we keep the room a little darker, so the light is low.  And the camera shutter sometimes wakes her up.  And she likes to have covers, so half the images just look like a floating baby head.  I was soooo pleased when these turned out reasonable because they’re the first okay ones I’ve taken in two or three months!

  5. By mommica on January 06, 2010

    Not a single thing.

  6. By Cambria Copeland on January 06, 2010

    Nothing sweeter! 

    We are transitioning our little one from co-sleeping to sleeping in her bed because my pregnant belly is taking up the better part of our bed.  And while she is sleeping happily in her own bed, I find myself missing her so much that I go and get her, even if it means I sleep with her on the couch. 

    I love to watch her…  My favorite is when she smiles in her sleep, or giggles.  More than anything else, I just love the way she feels next to me.

    It’s amazing this love that we have for our children.  No one could have ever prepared us.  Nor could we have ever known it until we were right in it.

    Charlotte is beautiful.  Keep up the wonderful posts and pics.

  7. By erin on January 06, 2010

    The only thing I can think of that I *might* love more than Hannah, or more than Brian, is Hannah’s brother or sister.  Also, Jelly Bellies.

  8. By kbreints on January 06, 2010

    oh I know… it is amazing how much I never knew I could love something SO much. And then I thought—how could I EVER love another as much—but sure enough—I do!

  9. By Mailis on January 06, 2010

    I knew I would love my son, but I had no idea of the sheer extent of it.

    Yesterday, while changing a poopy diaper, I somehow got my finger into a chunk of it and accidentally rubbed it on my face. I was like: “Jude…your poop is on mommy’s face! Hahaha!!“. I didn’t even rush to wash it off.

    So, yes…I would even go a few hours with my child’s poop on my face. That is love.

  10. By Summer on January 06, 2010

    My two little loves….there is nothing better.





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