Today’s featured blogger is from Texas.  She and her husband (A SUBMARINER, HOW COOL IS THAT?) live with their daughter in a fixer-upper that, much like a teenager, has an affinity for sucking their chequebook dry.  She claims that she cannot type without looking, but don’t let that fool you.  Her blog, We Are Geis, is hilarious.  No, really.  It’s HILARIOUS.  The photo captions are the best.  Also, she writes great e-mails.

Gena does not like dog farts, husband farts, or rude people.  And she’s not a big fan of finding socks inside out in the hamper either.  She does like that intoxicating new baby smell, sushi, just-woke-up cuddle-hugs, and laughing so hard she can’t stop.

    1.  If I snuck into your kitchen, what would I find in your refrigerator right now?

- Food mostly.  Hopefully.  Many many redneck Tupperware containers (assorted deli meat gladware and used butter tubs etc) of chopped and diced veggies for salad fixin’ and quicker dinner prep.  This is a MUST with our new healthier living goals.  The healthy meal making and snack prepping steals hours of my life every day.  Why is the crappy food always the cheap and easy route?!

- Expressed Milk.  If you snuck in my kitchen then you wouldn’t know that’s what it was and you might drink it and then we’d all LAUGH AT YOU.  But if you asked all proper and came in invited, I would tell you like I tell all of our other guests: “I don’t mind if you drink it, just let me know so I can replace it.“  No one actually does partake of it.

- Baby toys in various stages of cooling.  In the hopes of quelling inflamed teeth-bearing gums.  I’m not sure if it helps but at least I feel like I’m trying.

    2.  What are five goals on your life’s to-do list?

- Run a marathon.  I’m not aiming for OMGYOUWON! but more for OMGYOUDIDN’TDIE!  I’d like to do it to prove to myself that I can focus and train and follow through on something I genuinely think is out of my reach. Because, like, it involves all that RUNNING.

- Write a book.  About my life.  What’s so interesting about my life?  TONS. It’s going to be a best seller.  I’m pretty excited about starting it this year.

- Finish my degree.  I have a year left on a Physics degree with a math minor.  Dream job?  A physics high school teacher.

- Go to Germany.  Both my husband and I want to go.  So. Bad.  I hear the beer is phenomenal and the food hearty.  And also something about beautiful landscapes in the countryside.  Bonus?  Screaming down the Autobahn!  (And, obviously, not the beer and the Autobahn together.)

- Continue to weed out those things which do not matter and cultivate the things that bring true happiness.  In 2010, I resolved to cook from scratch and get crafty.  Start a garden.  Smell the roses and not let time pass by while I was waiting for !!!Tommorrow!!!  And most of all, to stop being so hard on myself.  It’s so easy as a mom and wife to think we are failing or behind and the truth is, we aren’t.  We are all just doing the best we can with the best of intentions.

    3.  How did you pick your daughter’s name?

Elizabeth as the First Name: We couldn’t decide on a name before she was born.  It wasn’t until we saw her that we settled on Elizabeth.  It came to us effortlessly even though we hadn’t considered it before.

We wanted something pretty.  And flexible.  But not wonky or spelled youneekleigh.  Elizabeth is so traditional and warm and cozy.  It has 1983456 nick names to suit even the most fickle teenager and looks elegant on a business card when accessorized with such letter combinations as D.D.S. and Ph.D. (hint hint).  It’s also easy to spell; something I would have liked growing up. People always spell my name Gina and when I tell them, “no, it’s with an E” they just look at me quizzically.  Then my name becomes Gene…. Nice try there, Sparky.

(Although I have gotten the “Elizabeth? Is that with a Z?“ quite a few times already.  Seriously?  “No, Asshat, Elizabeth with a Q…“)

Kelli as the Middle Name: Named after sisters from both parents. MY sister, Kelli, is just like me.  Only skinnier and blonde.  My husband’s sister, Kellie, was the lone princess in a sea of brothers.  She passed away in Feb of 2004 after battling Lukemia for 5 years.  She was 8 years old.  She pre-softened that little warm spot in my husband’s tough teen-man-boy heart where his love for Lizzie now resides.  Now she’s our Angel Kellie :)

Geis as the Last Name: What can I say.  We’re traditionalists.

    4.  Which man is sexier: Johnny Depp or George Clooney?

My MIL is going to kill me because in her marriage they have an agreement where they get to pick one celebrity they can “do” without consequence (which is good to discuss in advance because YOU NEVER KNOW) and hers is Johnny Depp.  I wish I could agree but GAG ME WITH A SPOON.  Totally not my type.  Too skinny-ish.  I need meat and love handles and squishy sqooshy to cuddle at night.  Also, he has an Emo air to him.  Turn Off.

George Clooney is delicious though.  I wouldn’t kick him outta my bed for eating crackers.  But he has the reputation of being a “playa” and that ruins it a bit for me.  If I suspend my real life requirements for a well rounded man-thing though, then yeah, sure, give him my number.

My number one pick, hands down, pants down, is Tom Sellek, “Three Men and a Baby” era.  Hot Hot Hot.  Be right back.  Grabbing dry undies.  (Sorry Honey, Magnum P.I. is at the door and needs my help. You know me, I’M THE HELPFUL TYPE.)

    5.  Okay, tell us one story that your family will tease you about until the day that you die.

I couldn’t think of anything in particular so I typed General Lack of Common Sense and then texted my family to ask.  They texted back… lack of common sense :( IT’S OFFICIAL!

So, general lack of common sense.  A consequence of my incredibly brilliant mind.  I’m far too busy using my brain power for good causes like Baby-Funny-Face-Making and BLOGGING and cannot possibly be bothered with such details as where I left my keys and, hey, how old is that milk, hmmm?  I constantly leave behind piles of half-finished projects and candy wrappers and other debris.  My best friend calls them “Gena Droppings”.

Once, when I was like 6 years old and in Tee-Ball, I stepped off of first base to pick up my own wimp-ily hit ball and was called OUT!  I had hit it like a wuss and beat it to the base.  Being impatient, I retrieved it and handed it to the other team.  As soon as I did it, I REALIZED what I had done and had my first dose of “I want to die now please”.

I am relentlessly chased around my aunt’s house by her KILLER COCKATIEL who bullies me, charges at me, attacks me.  He shat on my luggage.  Twice.  Sometimes I have to lock myself in the bedroom while someone puts him away.  He waits outside the door, pecking at the door jamb.  EVIL INCARNATE!