A sizable change.
May 04, 2009

For a long time, I hovered in that awful stage of pregnancy which I think is best described as IN-BETWEEN.

My ass was too expansive to squeeze into my jeans, but was still small enough that maternity pants would pool at my ankles in a minute flat.  My stomach had popped out, but more in a “should lay off the ice cream” way than a “you should congratulate me, moron” way.  My breasts were rounder and plumper, but also undergoing some freak size fluctuation so that I gave the general impression of being some sort of mutant teenage girl who stuffed her bra to the max on one day and then completely forgot the next.

The IN-BETWEEN stage sucked donkey balls.  I cannot count the number of times someone eyed me curiously, like they were trying to determine whether I was WITH CHILD or just, well, bloated.  And sometimes the baby would not kick me for a few hours or an entire day, so that I too began to wonder whether or not I was actually pregnant…or if I’d just had a metabolic crisis that resulted in a 20 pound weight gain overnight.

Sometime last week, the IN-BETWEEN stage came to an abrupt end.  I suddenly found my maternity jeans wedging themselves up my ass and my pre-pregnancy bras straining under the weight of the gigantic fleshy orbs I call my boobs.  Complete strangers began to approach me ALL THE TIME to rub my belly and ask when I was due.  The baby hasn’t stopped thrashing about in DAYS.

At first, I was flattered and happy and thought this was pretty damned fantastic.  I told myself SO THIS IS WHAT PREGNANCY IS ALL ABOUT and I have to admit, I liked what I saw.  People opening doors, offering their parking spaces, whispering sweet nothings to my abdomen.  I thought, hm, I COULD GET USED TO THIS.

But then this morning I woke up and discovered that it now takes me two attempts ON AVERAGE to roll my heft out of bed and that in the meantime my husband will have time to shave, shower, pack a lunch, and complete a 2500 piece puzzle.  I’m not so sure I can get used to THAT.

***The Google problem update is partially - albeit not wholly - resolved.  I will be taking down this post sometime this evening so that the words contained within it are not as prevalent and as easily search-able on my website.  Please update your links.  If you would like more details, please feel free to e-mail me at sarah [at] becomingsarah [dot] com.  I hope to have a full update prepared by early next week.

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  1. By Country-Fried Mama on May 04, 2009

    Oh, I remember being so thrilled when it became clear to strangers that I had a bun in the oven and not a beer belly. 

    You know what’s strange?  People ran to open doors for me when I was pregnant, but now that I am hanging onto a toddler and pushing a baby stroller, it is like I am invisible.  What happened to the overly polite public I once knew?

  2. By kim on May 04, 2009

    love the shots in the previous post! it’s a lovely feeling (well there are downsides!) that pregnant one. i remember really missing the feeling once done.

  3. By moosh in indy on May 04, 2009

    There needs to be in between shirts that simply say “YES I AM.“
    Would save a lot of people a lot of anxiety.

  4. By lceel on May 04, 2009

    The last time my wife was pregnant (18 years ago or more), I really, really wanted to have matching tee shirts made.  Hers would have said, in large black letters, “NO!  It’s Just GAS”  and mine would have said, “Gas Pipe” with an arrow pointing right down the middle of the shirt.  She vetoed the idea.  I still think it would have been funny.

  5. By Megan on May 04, 2009

    I am just reaching the “definitely” pregnant stage.  I too have to have something to pull myself out of bed.  Except, I always feel like my tail bone is about to fall off!  DOes anyone else have a ton of pressure on their extreme lower back?  AKA the assbone???

  6. By repliderium.com on May 04, 2009

    I have never been preggers but I can’t imagine random people coming up to me and touching my stomach. CREEPY!!! I will endlessly fondle the round bellies of pregnant woman that I know, but a stranger? WEIRDNESS!!! A friend that just had a baby said for her it was the random and often bizarre advice that people will hand her, unasked for. Said buy month 9 it drove her nuts!

  7. By Lisa on May 04, 2009

    Great pictures!

  8. By Sarah A. Schlothan Christensen on May 04, 2009

    Country-friend:  I have thought the same thing before.  When I’m pregnant, everybody wants to open the door for me, but the mother with the screaming toddler and the baby on her hip who’s right behind me?  Not so much.  It’s like, okay, of the two of us, who has more free hands?!

    Lceel:  THAT cracked me up.  I think it’s pretty funny!  My husband is going to get a kick out of it tonight! =)

    Repliderium:  It’s totally creepy!!  People I know don’t bother me and I know their advice is well-intentioned, but the strangers?  WHY?!  Why touch me?!  Why give me advice?!  WHY?!

  9. By erin on May 04, 2009

    I look at pictures we took of me when I was 4 months pregnant and think, I thought THAT was a baby belly?  No wonder I was the only one convinced I was showing.

    THANK GOD I have missed out on the random belly-rubbing, except by family and close friends (which I don’t mind).  What I have not missed out on are the bizarre, intimate details that people like to share about their own pregnancies.  One of my policyholders told me all about the episiotomy she had with her daughter.  At the doctor a couple weeks ago, a woman in the elevator told me her daughter kicked so much in one spot under her ribs that she had stretch marks there and there only, and proceeded to LIFT HER SHIRT UP in the elevator IN FRONT OF MY HUSBAND and her 3 y.o. daughter, just to show my the stretch marks.

  10. By Sarah A. Schlothan Christensen on May 04, 2009

    ERIN:  SHE DID WHAT?!  HA!!  HAHA!!  That’s way worse than anything anyone’s done to me!!

    With one exception.  One woman did grab my boobs to show me how to hand-express milk.

  11. By kbreints on May 04, 2009

    Oh yeah.. it seriosuly DOES happen over night doesn’t it?

  12. By Mommica on May 04, 2009

    When I was pregnant, my husband used to say to me in the mornings “I thought you were going into labor last night, you were groaning so much.“

    “Nope, not labor,“ I’d say. “Just turning over.“

  13. By Spruce Hill on May 04, 2009

    Yeah get used to it gets worse. You will get slower and slower, and bigger and bigger. I found it very hard to turn over during the night and it took forever to get up to pee! Then I would get back to bed and have to turn over again!

  14. By Julie Rivera on May 04, 2009

    Sucks donkey balls?! I haven’t heard/read that in ages and it is hysterical. In every which way, hysterical. As is your telling of the delightful in between stage, which I have hit much faster this time. Gone are my treasured 34Bs…thanks, Grandma, for loaning me YOUR bras… I just keep telling myself it is all worth it in the end. Right?

  15. By Sarah A. Schlothan Christensen on May 04, 2009

    Julie:  I am WITH YOU on the bra front.  I miss my beloved 34As.  They were so…perky!

  16. By Elizabeth Mackey on May 04, 2009

    Wait until you start looking at women who aren’t pregnant, and give them the evil eye, just because they can A.see their feet B. bend over at will and pick anything up easily, and C. Just the fact that they aren’t sharing in your third trimester agony!!!
    Hang in there, it a will all be a memory soon. :)

  17. By Elly on May 04, 2009

    Haha, brilliant! :)

  18. By Julia on May 04, 2009

    I LOVED being very pregnant when I went out places :)!  It seemed to make people in a good mood at the grocery store.  A tired looking cashier always ended up smiling and asking when the baby was due.  And having my bags taken out is a perk also :). 

    I agree with the first post though on how people aren’t as eager to help after you have the baby!  I was totally fine opening doors and taking my groceries out when pregnant - it was probably even good for me.  O well, it’s more fun going out with a baby regardless :).

  19. By Molly Chase on May 04, 2009

    Last night I realized that I’ve reached the point where I actually have to *SIT UP* in order to shift my weight to the other hip and then lay back down, in order to roll over.

    I could be more uncomfortable, but I’d have to have a spoon stuck in my eye socket, I think.

  20. By Elizabeth on May 04, 2009

    Tee hee, but you still look so gosh-darn cute!

  21. By ExtraordinaryMommy on May 04, 2009

    I remember all of these stages - the ‘clothes don’t fit’, the ‘pregnancy clothes are too big’, ‘the in between’, the ‘please, everyone, touch me’ - and you describe them all perfectly - it is like living it again!

    You look GORGEOUS BTW - the pictures are amazing!

  22. By Angella on May 04, 2009

    I hated the in-between stage. I should have just bought a Mumu and been done with it.

  23. By Tabitha (From Single to Married) on May 05, 2009

    You made me think of an episode of that new show, I think it’s called Experiencing Motherhood or something like that.  Anyway, the girl in it (from Will & Grace) pretended to be pregnant because of all the benefits she got - people opening doors and giving her free stuff.  It was actually really funny because at the end her stomach stuffing fell out in front of everyone and they found out she wasn’t really pregnant.  It was funny watching her backpedal her way out of it. 

    Anyway… just thought I’d share.  :)





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