Feel better soon, numbskull.
September 29, 2009

So in the wee unholy hours of yesterday morning, my kid sister keels over and army crawls to her bedroom door and croaks out a call for help.  And a few hours later, I get THE CALL, right?

You know what call I’m talking about.  THE CALL.  From my folks.  At the hospital.  Saying oh, you know what, the strangest thing happened, your sister had this pain and we didn’t have the heart to tell her to nut up, then one thing lead to another, and well, we’ve been kicking it at THE HOSPITAL for a few hours, so, okay, consider yourself informed.

Which, to a postpartum hormonal bundle of nerves, sounds a lot like YOUR SISTER IS DYING, SO START FUCKING LOSING YOUR MIND.  Because, look at it this way: THE HOSPITAL.  I don’t know about you, but the last time I was in the hospital, I needed twelve stitches up against my vagina.

So a few hours passed and I twiddled my thumbs and did things like, oh, that’s right, losing my mind, and then I got THE NEXT CALL.

That call was a lot less, you know, THE HOSPITAL, and a lot more hey there, yeah, the scans are all inconclusive, so they figure they’ll just chop her open and see what’s what.  But because I’m a postpartum hormonal bundle of nerves, what it sounded like was YOUR SISTER IS DYING, SO KEEP FUCKING LOSING YOUR MIND.

So a few more hours passed – hours I predictably spent losing my mind (bet you didn’t see that one coming) – and then I got THAT CALL.

You know the call I’m talking about.  THAT CALL.  That makes you feel like a moron.  Saying yeah, a little bit of slicing here and dicing there, and she might be a little bummed about the scar when she slides into a thong, but guess what?  It was her appendix!  PROBLEM SOLVED.


My sister is the one on the right.  She did not die.  But just in case, I lost my mind.

I guess this means that I have to stop calling her a hypochondriac.


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  1. By Tabitha (From Single to Married) on September 29, 2009

    You poor thing - I know how you feel and it’s terrifying!  I remember the night I took my husband to the hospital doubled over in pain only to find out that he was passing kidney stones.  It was awful but at least it wasn’t life-threatening.  But when he woke up at 2:00 in the morning complaining of pain, I didn’t know that.

    And then there was the time that my sister was also in the hospital with a ruptured cyst - it was heartbreaking to see her so scared and sick.

    So yes, there are definitely times to lose your mind and usually they have to do with hospitals and loved ones.  Glad she’s going to be alright!

  2. By Joe @ IrrationalDad on September 29, 2009

    Leave it to a little sister to try and “one up” her big sister for having a baby.

    Glad she’s okay though. That’s scary stuff. Nobody ever says they’re going to the hospital for dinner, drinks, and ice cream, so it’s acceptable to freak out.

  3. By gretchen from lifenut on September 29, 2009

    Your heart can stop pounding now, right? We never want to think of our most loved ones and the word HOSPITAL together.

    I am so glad your sister and Charlie’s auntie is okay.

  4. By alison @ cluck and tweet on September 29, 2009

    Someone told me once that when you push that baby out you also push out half your brain cells.  And probably all of your common sense.  Which was the case for me.  The good news is that it comes back.  Eventually.  I hope.

    And THE CALL sucks.  I’ve had a few of those myself.

  5. By Jessika on September 29, 2009

    Ok, the little sisters? Theyneed to stop getting freakin’ sick on the wee hours of Monday mornings. It causes much big sister distress. Though we may sincerely like to poke them and tease them, we do quite care. So please stop getting sick!

    I’m so glad she’s ok. Now just have fun keeping boys away. NO SEEING THAT SCAR!

  6. By Elizabeth Mackey on September 29, 2009

    Poor thing!! Hope she is up and around in no time. Cute picture of you two by the way :)

  7. By Jes on September 29, 2009

    Yeah those calls are never fun. I got one that my dad (who has a heart condition) got a bloody nose that wouldn’t stop and had to go to the hospital. I was a crying mess for the rest of the day.

  8. By Megan at FASS on September 29, 2009

    So you are still a hormonal bundle of nerves?????  God- when does this end for us?? 

    So glad she’s okay!!

    I lose my mind even when I am just packing to go somewhere.  I sear I come down with flu like symptoms packing a diaper bag.

  9. By Stephanie on September 29, 2009

    Whew! Glad she’s okay! How scary!!

  10. By Sarah A. Schlothan Christensen on September 29, 2009

    Megan - I probably shouldn’t blame it on hormones anymore.  I’ve been much more even keel since about 5-6 weeks, but if I can use hormones as an excuse?  DONE.

  11. By Elizabeth on September 29, 2009

    Giant phew.  And you guys are gorgeous.

  12. By kbreints on September 29, 2009

    Oh my goodness!! I am glad that she is ok!

  13. By Joanie on September 29, 2009

    Glad that she’s all right! I would have been freaking out too!

  14. By MyHormonesMadeMeDoIt on September 29, 2009

    Oh I am a total over freakout person and this one would have sent me over the edge.  Shit, I am so going to be an annoying mom.

  15. By Heidi on October 03, 2009

    Oh thank jesus. I was reading this going ... WHAT ... NO! Her sister was just over helping fold onesies!

    Hey, she’s like Madeline now. Remember Madeline had her appendix removed and was left with a little scar. I still have my Madeline doll, that’s how much I loved red-headed Parisian bitch.

    Hope your sis is healing well!


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