I am Sarah’s father.
March 28, 2009

I know, I know…Sarah’s blog is funny, well-written, and intelligent, all of this undoubtedly the result of the X chromosomes she inherited from her father:

But today it’s MY turn.  Sarah is tired, sick, pregnant, brain-dead, or all of the above.  Maybe I asked her if she would let me write one post.  Just to try it.  Someday I may have my own blog: fatherofafullygrownbonehead.com.  So, I thought I’d try Sarah’s blog first.  If it’s crappy, she takes the blame.

When Sarah was a baby, we called her “The Dictator,“ for obvious reasons.  Actually, we called her many things (oh, the stories I could tell).  For years, I lived in a house with four women.  I knew who was in charge.  So, now that my three daughters have all moved out, who is in charge?  That’s what I want to know.

About a year ago, I started feeding a cat that spent a lot of time in our yard looking scrawny.  I started feeding this cat:

The cat has turned into a stalker, now.  Every night after it gets dark, I walk into the den and close the drapes.  I never turn the lights on.  I take the risk of tripping and falling in the dark, because if I turn the lights on and the cat sees me, the meowing begins.  The meowing won’t stop until I go out and pet the cat.  It’s not after food; there’s always food in the bowl.  It just wants attention.

At nighttime, after I go to bed, I have to whisper to my wife if I want to say anything, otherwise, the cat outside hears me and the meowing begins.  (of course my wife then says, “Stop whispering, I have a headache.”)

Almost every morning, between 5:30AM and 6:00AM, who needs my attention?  Meet Oreo:

Notice that Oreo is a hound.  Think howling.  Think about hearing it from a mile away.  Really.  I’ve heard it.

And so have the neighbors.

Then there’s Thor.  Have you ever tried to walk outside and have 75 pounds of DOG try to walk in?

And who named Thor?  Ask Sarah?  At the same time, ask her why he lives in my back yard.

This is why everything in my garage three feet and down ends up outside.  Meet Dante.  He’s definitely Sarah’s dog.  She picked him out, named him, and he lives…with me.

There is one bright spot: Tax, The Miracle Dog.

Almost three years ago, he was named Tax.  One morning, he woke up paralyzed in the back legs.  Thirteen days later, without invasive surgery, (but WITH a very expensive stay at the vet hotel), Tax started moving around again.  He walked like a drunken sailor and that is when we named him “Tax, The Miracle Dog.”

The good news is: I’m in charge of Tax, The Miracle Dog.  Except when he looks at me with those big, brown eyes and says, “more food, please.“

All content of this post is the property of Dan Schlothan.  Stealing any of it will result in your untimely death.


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  1. By kbreints on March 28, 2009

    Great Post! ...and great idea… I think I need to have family members guest post too :)

    You must be a wonderful person to have so many animals in your life…. they choose you for a reason.

  2. By the domestic fringe on March 28, 2009

    I really enjoyed this post!  It’s great when we get to meet people in the family.

    I’m hosting a give-away today!  Enter by midnight Sunday to win.

    It’s a book designed to help parents foster a love for reading in their children.

    -FringeGirl

  3. By mommyknows on March 28, 2009

    Hey Dan ... great first post.

    You should get your own blog ... it’s something you could be totally in charge of. ;)

  4. By on March 28, 2009

    Thankfully I am not alone in the world of “The number of pets out number the number of people in the house” With my one dog and 5 cats and a very large Oscar named Cleo, I totally understand the nuttiness of having to many fur members in the family, but in the end, the insanity is worth it. My mother also has a few out side kitties she feeds daily, 3 to be exact, she has rescued many kittens, and working on getting mama fixed next, she also has 4 cats in side… we’re all crazy…

    I completely agree, you should have your own blog…I would be there daily, as I am here!

  5. By on March 28, 2009

    And by the way Sarah.. Why does Thor live outdoors? Your public wants to know :D

  6. By Spruce Hill on March 28, 2009

    Glad to meet you Sarah’s Dad! In our household we have three daughters too, all our dogs are female along with two ponies as well. My husband is SO outnumbered!

    I am thinking you might have to start your own blog! Hope Sarah is feeling better.

  7. By Jaye @ canadian-mom.ca on March 28, 2009

    Great post, Dan! Sarah, I think this should be a monthly thing :) I hope you’re doing well, because as much as I liked reading your dad’s post, I’m missing your’s!

  8. By Heidi on March 28, 2009

    Sarah’s Dad! Awesome! I’m so happy you posted. My dad was cursed/blessed with three daughters too. To counter the hormones imbalance in our house, all of our dogs have been male.

    Unlike you, he hates our cats.

    When I was about 14, my sisters and I started feeding a stray that we found living in the corn field next to our house. When we noticed the stray was pregnant, we ended up feeding her kittens as well. One day we gave away all but two of them away.

    The ones we kept we named Paws and Cillia. We kept two because we convinced him that Paws, born with deformed paws and legs that wouldn’t bend, would die, or that no one else would want him. We kept Cillia as backup.

    They’re 12 years old now.

    He despises them, and though his daughters are all out of the house (and in my case 1,200 miles away) the felines remain.

    And holy HOUNDS! You have four dogs? How do you feel about pugs?

  9. By Heidi on March 28, 2009

    Also: You’re a good writer!

  10. By JestheBes on March 29, 2009

    Sarah’s Dad, I enjoyed your post. Great stories! I have had the same cat problem too. I really enjoy reading about other animal lovers. great job!

  11. By Kimberly on March 29, 2009

    I think I love you, Sarah’s Dad! You should definitely have your own blog. And the animals? Heartwarming.

  12. By erin on March 30, 2009

    I would SO read your blog, Sarah’s Dad.  GREAT post.

  13. By itsybitsyknitsy on March 31, 2009

    What an adorable post. I love it!

  14. By Napmom on April 01, 2009

    Sarah - you have such a wonderful dad!  I can see who you get your sense of humor from.  Just lovely!

  15. By Elizabeth on April 04, 2009

    Yeah, you’re lucky to have such a cool pop! Great idea. You’re awesome! :)

  16. By streuartikel on July 29, 2009

    At first, have you looked at the age of this minority of the French ogin you mention, often they are young, under 30. And why is quite simple in our country, which is France, too often, it is “against


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