Lamentations.
July 09, 2009

I once had a bladder of steel.
It was like I’d struck the BEST DEAL!
          It was solid and tough
          (Two qualities I love)
And it did not interrupt every meal.

Things have changed just a bit this last year
And I’m not quite as continent here.
          The baby gives a swift kick
          Then I scream out “Ick!”
So my bladder and I shed a tear.

Last week, I woke up every night.
Which, quite frankly, just isn’t right.
          I want to sleep
          But instead, I just creep
To the pot, to my bladder’s delight.

Not five minutes later, I’m back,
As my bladder’s become rather slack.
          It fills all too fast,
          Which leaves me aghast,
Our GREAT DEAL is no longer intact.


An exercise in exploitation.  Heh.


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  1. By kbreints on July 09, 2009

    Hysterical.

  2. By Crystal on July 09, 2009

    Beautiful.

  3. By Julie Rivera on July 09, 2009

    Are you afforded more time for creative writing with those late night potty runs? :) Very funny!

  4. By Vicky on July 09, 2009

    3 years later and I still pee when I sneeze, or jump, or laugh.

  5. By Jaye @ canadian-mom.ca on July 09, 2009

    Great poem, and picture!

  6. By Wild Dingo on July 09, 2009

    Finally! A working dog doing what he does BEST! :) did you marker train that? ;)

    5 days…. damn girl… kid’s gonna come out overcooked or burnt!

  7. By Sarah A. Schlothan Christensen on July 09, 2009

    Lol Dingo, he ripped the cardboard off a box that a stroller came in and then ran around the yard playing hard-to-get with it.  So I wrote the phrase and handed it to him and took pictures of him running everywhere =)

    Also, I’m totally with you on the overcooked or burnt.  It’s so odd to me that everybody thought the kid was going to pop out a few weeks ago and yet we hang tight.  The baby’s gonna come out balding and with a cane at this rate.

  8. By Restless Mama on July 09, 2009

    This poem beats anything that Eliot or Hemingway wrote.  ;o)

    Almost there!

  9. By on July 09, 2009

    Have you tried singing the poem to the tune “I’m Popeye the Sailorman”?. You know, I’m Popeye the sailorman, I live in a frying pan. I eat all the germs and spit out the worms, I’m Popeye the sailorman.
    Lots of good stuff to teach the new baby!

  10. By on July 09, 2009

    I feel your pain.

    Three kids later, not pregnant—a good sneeze or a cough and it’s all over baby.  I carry a water bottle with me everywhere I go for plausible explanation—lest I need one.

  11. By Cate Subrosa on July 10, 2009

    You’re brilliant. I reckon I’m averaging about 4 wees a night at this point, so you’re doing alright!

  12. By Spruce Hill on July 10, 2009

    Popping in to say hi! have taken a bit of a bloggie vacation! Wow you are very close! can’t wait to see the baby!!!!!!!

  13. By Jes the Bes on July 11, 2009

    Look! Hank is in aerodynamic mode. He’s got those ears kicked back and is running so fast. I just adore Hank.

  14. By Tabitha (From Single to Married) on July 14, 2009

    ha!  Like Susan said, I feel your pain too.  The getting up several times a night has to be the worst, I think.  There’s something awful about not having an uninterrupted night’s sleep, isn’t there?

  15. By Dianna on July 16, 2009

    I love this picture!  How cute is Hank?!


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