Letter to my starshine: 22 months.
May 20, 2011

Dear Charlotte,

I have no idea where the last month went.  It feels like I sat down yesterday to write you a letter saying that you were 21 months old.

On that note, it feels like a couple days ago I came home, tucked you into your bouncer, and called every friend and relative I could think of to announce your birth.

This month has been incredible in so many ways.  You make jokes!  You now know all of your colors!  And most of your shapes!  You fell in love with mulberries!  And blackberries!  We started a small patch of garden just for you!  You can string words together to communicate a point!  You tell stories!  You make-believe!

But underneath all of that incredible is a touch of bitter.  When I was ordering photos to send to your great-grandmother for Mother’s Day, I realized that I no longer look at pictures of your infancy and see YOU.  I just see another baby.  A cute baby, sure, but not as cute as you are right now.  And when I look at you right now, when I clasp your cheeks and bring your nose to mine and nuzzle it back and forth and then WHOOPS! swallow little irresistible you right up?  I no longer see my infant.  I see a vibrant little girl, a clever little imp, a happy little child.

Parenting seems to me to be the most difficult ‘job’ in the world not because it’s hard to keep you alive or to ensure that you are prepared to enter the world, but because if I do it right, one day I have to let you go.


Top Right: Your father and I joke that you’re like a sheepdog, completely oblivious to your overgrown bangs!  Top Left: Toddler-wearing, still an everyday occurrence even though you’re closing in on 30 pounds.  Bottom Right: STINK FACE!  And also, you call loquats “quat” and it cracks me up.

You and I have spent most of this month doing perfectly ordinary things – stomping in rain puddles, gobbling down berries, hiking at the arroyo, digging in the garden – but for some reason the last few weeks have been some of the happiest we’ve ever spent together.

I know I’ve said this before and I’m sure I’ll say it again, but watching you grow and learn is the greatest gift.  Every day, you make new connections that astound me and every evening after you’re asleep your father and I regale each other with funny goings-on from our time with you.  And when I’m curled up beside your father at the end of the day, telling him about how you saw an egg and proceeded to list off every animal you could think of that lays eggs*?  We are both struck by just how grateful we are to have you in our lives.  And we are both struck by how happy you make us.  I never knew that something as simple as berry-gobbling could make all the difference in the world, but it does, and I love you for that.

Grow, little schatzi, grow.

We love you more than bears love honey (and everyone knows that’s an awful lot),
Momma and Daddy

* Your list: DUCK! FOG! (frog) CHI-KEN! FISHIES! FIES! (butterflies) BUG! GOB-BULL! (turkey, because they say gobble) BUD! (bird).  You also threw in PUPPY and shook your head morosely, as if to say SADLY, PUPPIES ARE GOOD FOR NOTHING NOW THAT I KNOW THEY DON’T LAY EGGS.


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  1. By Katelyn on May 20, 2011

    Almost two?!?!?  She’s beautiful!  B will be three next week, I can’t believe it….

  2. By Jen - Devourer of Books on May 20, 2011

    Aren’t toddler jokes the best? My son’s favorite joke is when we read our book Everywhere A Moo Moo, he points to the animals, then looks at us with an impish grin and says “mommy!“ or “daddy!“ And not only are the animals called mommy or daddy, that is also the sound they all make. He thinks it is hi-lar-i-ous.

  3. By Amber on May 20, 2011

    Another beautiful letter, Sarah. This is the most amazing time, isn’t it? I can’t get over how much they learn, how quickly. It is astounding. And her egg list is fantastic.

    I think about that - letting Nate go - from time to time. It’s a bit too painful to think about. Maybe that’s why the teen years are so trying. Makes you forget how adorable they used to be so you’re ready to throw them out into the world ;)

  4. By Alicia S. on May 21, 2011

    You look like your tiny butt could topple right over with that girl on your back lol! LOVE that close up shot. Too freakin’ cute.

    I love when my husband and I share stories of our time with the kids together at the end of everyday. It’s one of those things that never loses it’s magic either. When our first son was an infant, we’d lose sleep just swapping stories of little things he did that were ASTOUNDING to us at the time, lol. Now that he’s 3 and our youngest is 8 months, every new thing that they do trumps the last amazing thing they did and by the end of the day, we have a million things to gush to eachother about.

  5. By Tabitha (From Single to Married) on May 23, 2011

    wow - it’s amazing how big she’s gotten! When did that happen?  :)

  6. By on May 24, 2011

    You are doing a great job raising a confident and smart little girl! She is learning so MUCH!!! She is soooo BIG now! I know what you mean about looking back at baby photos, it’s hard to believe it was ever really them isn’t it?! It’s harder and harder as they get bigger!!!!
    tara

  7. By Molly on May 26, 2011

    “Parenting seems to me to be the most difficult ‘job’ in the world not because it’s hard to keep you alive or to ensure that you are prepared to enter the world, but because if I do it right, one day I have to let you go.“

    Oh, Sarah. THIS. My son is almost one and this sentence hit me straight in my core. Yes, yes, yes.


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