Luckily, making a fool of myself happens to be something I am phenomenal at.
September 15, 2011

*** Before I get started, we took our family pictures.  Check them out on Julie Campbell’s site: here, yo!  We even snuck a few kick-ass breastfeeding photos in.  Those are the ones from behind, with me sitting in the grass and Charlotte in her dinosaur hoodie and gum boots.  What a perfect capture of what it’s like nursing a two-year-old.

A couple days ago, I met up with a group of moms at a local park and somehow I ended up divulging my biggest, most grounded in CRAZY, most ridiculous mom fear: I’m terrified that I will forget what Charlotte looks like.

It makes me sound certifiable, but there it is.  Some parents worry that their child will stop breathing in the night.  Some parents agonize over college funds.  Some parents fret about home invasion.  When I’m apart from my daughter for longer than about two hours, I worry that I won’t recognize her.  That she won’t remember me.  That I won’t remember her.

On the flip side, how I could ever forget a face like this is beyond me.

A few more hours and I start to panic that she doesn’t exist.  That she died and I just manufactured a fantasy world to cope.  Or worse, that she never existed, that this was all a dream.

In my defense, I never said I had all my marbles.

ANYWAY, so we all stood around and I said that and a few other moms shared their irrational fears and we all had a good laugh at each other.  Then we went to have a picnic and talk about other things.  Important things.  Like babies and husbands and who got whom addicted to which crappy television show.

After a few snacks, we cut the kids loose to play and explore at whim.  And at some point after that it occurred to me that I had not seen Charlotte in awhile.  I looked to the left – nothing.  To the right – nothing.  Behind me – nothing.  I looked again.  Then I stood up, looking frantically all over.

“Are you looking for something, Sarah?” one of the other moms asked.  “Charlotte,” I said breathlessly.  My feet felt frozen.  My heart was thundering.

The mom looked at me confused.  “She’s right there,” she said, “right in front of you.”  And so she was.  About two feet away from me, right under my nose, staring intently at a bunch of cucumber she’d mashed between her fingers.  Where she had been, now that I was calm enough to think about it, THE. ENTIRE. TIME.

I laughed, everyone laughed, then one of the other moms joked that I wasn’t kidding about not recognizing my own kid and we laughed a little harder.

Yesterday I was away from Charlotte for four hours and every time I worried about her, I remembered her standing there in her bright red t-shirt two feet away from me and I had to suppress a huge belly laugh.  The longer I’m a mom, the more I think that sometimes the only way you ever overcome foolish fears is by making a fool of yourself.

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  1. By Gracia on September 15, 2011

    I’m head over heels in love with the pictures, they are so, so amazing! All of you look so happy and so completely in love with each other :)

    Oh, and I’m not a mom and I routinely do a check of my husband’s features because in the few hours we spend away each day I feel like his image may slip away from my mind. Thankfully, in public is hard to lose sight of a 6’4 guy.

  2. By Sarah on September 15, 2011

    i am afraid I will forget my kids some where. in the car, in a store, outside. I do have 4, so I am constantly head counting, but still, it haunts me

  3. By on September 15, 2011

    Love the family pictures

  4. By Dianna on September 15, 2011

    I love the photos, Charlotte is really something.

  5. By Bethany on September 15, 2011

    LOVE the phots. My fav—Donald and you outreached to Charlotte running to you with her perfect dinosaur hoodie :)

  6. By Lindsey on September 15, 2011

    Gaaah! When Charlotte is laughing she has the happiest happy face I have ever seen. It is joyous, ecstatic, gleeful - it makes me FEEL happy!

  7. By on September 15, 2011

    Your family photos are adorable. Charlotte is just so precious!

  8. By on September 15, 2011

    The family photos made my day! Charlotte just radiates joy.

  9. By on September 15, 2011

    First of all i’m not sure how i never noticed it before, but Donald is exceptionally tall. You guys are so stinkin’ cute together and to copy cat everybody else…Charlotte is an amazingly happy kid. Your heart must always be so full of love because just looking at these pictures made my heart swell.

  10. By Megan R. on September 15, 2011

    really beautiful photos…all of them!

  11. By missjoules on September 16, 2011

    Oh my goodness, WHERE did you get that hoodie. Also: you guys are too cute. Even my husband said so.

  12. By Sarah Christensen on September 16, 2011

    Miss Joules - It’s just a purple hoodie I found at a thrift shop.  I cut out some green diamonds from felt at the fabric shop and sewed them down the middle, then folded them in half into triangles and sewed them together.

    I got the idea from somewhere else and highly recommend it.  Charlotte wears that hoodie everywhere right now.  She wore it this morning at the park and people really can’t help but stop to share smiles when they see a kid in a dinosaur hoodie running around =)

  13. By Sarah Christensen on September 16, 2011

    Shannon B - Donald is 6’7” and I am 5’5”.  He’s freakishly tall.  Also: very easy to spot in a crowd =P

    Thanks for the kind compliments, everyone!

  14. By on September 17, 2011

    You and that Charlotte kiddo are the most gorgeous pair. Thanks for sharing your family, brightens my day.





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