June 03, 2014

I am looking at her, taking her in, and I am absolutely blown away.  My head spins thinking about the myriad of ways in which I am unworthy.  But the road I traveled brought me to her.  To her beautiful hair.  To her addictive smell.  To her mischievous smile.  To her head on my chest.  To her happy chirps.  To her soulful eyes.

To me, she is perfection.

I think about how messy life can be, about how her future glimmers with possibility.  She is the light of our lives and when dark has fallen, Donald and I whisper to one another about this.  How did we get so lucky?, we wonder as we relate humorous stories to one another about the moments in the day that we shared with her.  Amidst the many mistakes we’ve each made, how did we strike gold?

In the daylight, I watch her at play and I marvel at her.  Once we lived without her, I know we did, but how?  Once she was merely a dream too fragile to even speak of, I know she was, but when?  Once I walked everywhere without her hand seeking mine, I know I did, but I can hardly imagine it now.  I can hardly fathom a world without her.

When she giggles at me, exclaiming at how long her hair is growing, she is Charlotte.  Charlotte, my star shine.

When she leans forward, rubbing her nose against my own, she is Evelyn.  Evelyn, my wild bird.

When she rests her weight against me, pinching my arm until sleep claims her, she is Polliwog.  Polliwog, my darling squish.

And the longer she is here, the better life is.  To me, she is everything.

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  1. By on June 03, 2014


  2. By on June 05, 2014

    This is my new favorite.

  3. By momiss on June 06, 2014

    Just lovely.  It is one of the supreme mysteries of life to me that no one can explain how parenthood will change you adequately.  You just have to go through it and then you just know what you did not know before.
    Life.  Love.  Humbling.
    God bless your family.  :)

  4. By on June 11, 2014

    i miss you but am glad that life is so very full.

  5. By Megan R. on June 17, 2014

    so heart-warming….

  6. By on June 18, 2014

    Why is it, everytime I read you I end up crying…. This is beautiful!!! Beautiful! Just soooo beautiful!!!

  7. By tara pollard pakostsa on September 03, 2014

    I am ever so proud of you both as parents, wow. this is beautifully written! can’t wait to hopefully one day see she is yours, fully adopted and we can see her beautiful face. so happy for you!

  8. By carolina on October 03, 2014

    I have 3 ¨shes¨ that make me the happiest woman on earth!





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