The loveliest of gifts.
May 30, 2009

A few months ago, my husband and I struck a deal.  The deal was threefold.  First of all, we would not purchase baby products until the baby shower had passed.  Second, I would not prepare any area in the house for the baby until the baby shower had passed.  Third, in exchange for my patience with our pocketbook and our house with NO BABY GEAR, Donald would assemble the stroller.

Most people we know have been astounded that Donald managed to coerce me into this deal, and I have to say that they have a point.  I really got the short end of the stick in this bargain, but I think I was feeling particularly generous the night we struck the deal because Donald had made me a chocolate shake.

I just love it when that man makes chocolate shakes.  Have you ever watched a man make a chocolate shake?  First, they gather the most delicious ingredients this world has to offer.  Then they retrieve the blender, which involves bending over.  Then, now that you’re admiring their ass, you realize that chopping up the banana and scooping out the ice cream and pouring in the milk and holding the top on the blender?  Requires a fair bit of butt wiggling.

And isn’t it a fact that if you married the man, you’re allowed to like it when he engages in a bit of butt wiggling?

At any rate, the deal was struck and Donald has held me to it.  BUT!  BUT BUT BUT!  I have whimpered.  But we will NEED baby detergent!  We will NEED crib sheets!  And he stood his ground.  NOT UNTIL AFTER THE BABY SHOWER HAS PASSED, he roared.  And since he did engage in a bit of butt wiggling so that I could have a chocolate shake, I figured there wasn’t really much harm in letting the man have his way.  So we waited and waited for the baby shower to pass.

THE BABY SHOWER IS TODAY, YO!

If you are unable to locate me over the next week, do not panic.  I will probably be completely surrounded in baby gear, which means that I will have been rendered incapable of thought or movement.  There will be diapers and bottles and safety pins and blankets.  THERE WILL BE AWE.  Baby gear to a gestating woman is like cocaine, only soooooooo much better.

Also, it is occurring to me now that I should ask my husband to make another chocolate shake.  Since there won’t be time for sex in my new baby-crazed world, a little butt wiggling sounds nice.


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  1. By erin on May 30, 2009

    Woot!!  Let the onslaught of baby gear commence!!

    Will Donald be around for the shower?  Brian did not want a co-ed shower; I offered him the option mostly to be polite.  I did not think he would go for the whole sitting around oohing and ahhing over baby crap and I was right.  However, one of his best friends is married to a very good friend of mine so they both came to the shower.  Jimmy and Brian were going to hang out and drink beer and talk baseball and do other manly grunting things while we ladies cooed over baby stuffs.  Lo and behold, the majority of the pictures that my hostess/best girl took that day are of Brian.  Both the boys came downstairs to participate, not only in the oohing and ahhing over the baby gear but also in the tasting of baby food game.  And of course, they helped us eat cake.  Mmmm, cake.

    I hope you have a great time today!

  2. By Bill on May 30, 2009

    Enjoy buying the new gear!  If your baby is like ours, he/she will need a new camera and computer too.  :)

    You didn’t ask, but I’ll offer advice anyway.  *laugh*  We liked using a baby tracker from http://www.timetoo.com to keep track of feeding, changing, etc.  There are all sorts of electronic ones too, but they weren’t around for our first child…

  3. By Meg on May 30, 2009

    Butt wiggling and shakes? I may have to get Mozart in on that little deal.

    Have fun at your baby shower! I love showers….I love free stuff.

  4. By Katelyn on May 30, 2009

    Yay!  Have a great time!!!  I hope you get lots of useful gifts :)

  5. By Stephanie on May 30, 2009

    Oooh I hope you have fun!!! I didn’t get a shower, but people mailed us things and it was so fun to come home to.

  6. By Jennifer W. on May 30, 2009

    Oh so fun!  My showers kind of blew.  I hope you have a great time and get LOTS of stuff you WANT and you knoe, need.

  7. By violetismycolor on May 30, 2009

    Oh the shopping!  Nothing is more fun than getting ready for the little screamer.  Hope yours is a sleeper.  A couple of mine gave me a run for my money.

  8. By Veronica on May 30, 2009

    Yay for baby showers! I finally could relax after I’d had mine for Amy. That said, I then spent the next few weeks washing and folding and rewashing and refolding baby clothes.

  9. By Laura on May 30, 2009

    It is such a relief to have baby showers over with! I had my second (and last) one today. I feel like I can breathe. :)

  10. By tracey on May 30, 2009

    Oh, have fun! Can’t wait to see the gift piles!

  11. By Megan@SortaCrunchy on May 31, 2009

    First of all, what a GORGEOUS shot.  Love it!

    Secondly, I hope yesterday was just as grand and glorious as you hoped it would be.  Have fun swirling in all the baby shower goodness and goodies!

  12. By Dutch Donut Girl on May 31, 2009

    How exciting! Have a great time. And have fun with the butt wiggling ;)

  13. By on May 31, 2009

    My baby required a new camera and a new car. What we really needed, and didn’t realize it, were sheets for our own bed. Baby slept with us until she quit breastfeeding at 8 months old and it can get messy. We had to change the sheets at least once a day for the first couple of months.

  14. By Kimberly on June 01, 2009

    HAPPY BABY SHOWER!! I want to see pictures of the loot.

    And Hank.

  15. By daphne on June 01, 2009

    Funny thing is over here in Singapore (no, its not a part of China) we don’t quite do baby showers like that but we do celebrate the first “monthiversary” of the baby, in pretty much the same way - gifts and all.

  16. By Heidi on June 01, 2009

    About milkshakes: my friend Loren and I were at an Italian martini bar last month and she ordered some fruity mash-up concoction that required the dashing Italian bartender to physically GRIND strawberries using some sort of marble wand and tiny bowl.

    When Loren ordered her drink she knew EXACTLY what she was doing. She said, “Watch this. Watch this guy mash my fruit and mix this martini. It’s amazing.“

    Sure enough. It was amazing. We were awe-struck, just sort of sitting there at the bar mesmerized by the act.

    When she got the drink, I took a sip. It was OK and not nearly as riveting as watching Giuseppe make it. So yeah, I hear ya on the sexy act of milkshake making. I’ll get Joe on it tonight.

  17. By Napmom on June 01, 2009

    Yo - You sooooooo got the short end of the stick on this one.

  18. By Rachel on June 01, 2009

    Hi Sarah, Thanks for dropping by my blog.  Lovely to to have discovered your entertaining writing! 

    Hope you are enjoying all the baby things now you’re allowed to marinate in it all!

  19. By Tabitha (From Single to Married) on June 02, 2009

    I have to say that I’m impressed you stuck to your deal.  Personally, I don’t know how you did it!  That’s one of the things I worry about when we get pregnant - going crazy with the baby stuff.  Actually, I don’t worry about it at all.  My husband, on the other hand…


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