Picking a name for Charlotte was exceptionally difficult. You know what naming a baby is like? It’s like fighting over the remote control. Only worse, because fighting over the remote control causes temporary problems like FURY, but naming a baby causes permanent conditions like IRREVOCABLE BRAIN DAMAGE.
The truth is that choosing the right name for our unborn child was quite possibly the most stressful thing my marriage has ever undergone. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
It is no secret that Donald and I want another baby. And probably another one after that. And maybe another one after that. And, hell, at that point, why not pop another one out after that?
We talk about it all the time, about filling up our home with children. And as we creep ever closer to *fingers crossed* giving Charlotte a sibling (or two) (or three or four), we have begun to discuss baby names. Again. Which is unfortunate, because my brain has not yet recovered from the last time we did this.
We encountered so many problems with picking baby names that I could probably waste away the rest of my life trying to write them all down, but the big one was this: we each feel that the other person has HORRID taste. Donald says that my names are lame. I tell him that his are boring. Mine are too old. His are too stuffy. Mine, um, well, look, he knew this one kid in the second grade by that name. And that kid had big nostrils. And his? His are just begging to be bullied.
Surprisingly enough, this one major glitch in the baby-naming has not changed a wink since I’ve given birth.
So last week, I had a moment of brilliance. And when I say brilliance, I mean BRILLIANCE! Angels-leaping, heart-singing, soul-jigging, toes-wiggling brilliance. One minute I was a just another suburban mother. And the next minute, well, okay, I was still just another suburban mother, but I was a suburban mother who was exhibiting clear and obvious signs of genius. There was an epiphany and it was great.
I had found THE PERFECT NAME.
Naturally, I rushed home and called my husband and excitedly whispered the name to him, and WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT, the man was completely unenthused. I mean, he COMPLETELY resisted my obvious brilliance. In fact, I think his exact words were “that’s lame.” And that’s when my brain just sort of went on the blink.
As it turns out, the stork better drop off our second child with a nametag.
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your post totally hit home. we found out on friday that we’re having a boy and the name discussion has begun. we spent all last night throwing out names and NONE sounded good. we did come to the conclusion that we would NOT be naming our boy maverick. i guess some progress was made.
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My daughter’s name is Harper Hooper. When she’s about 8 or so, I’m going to start locking up the knives because she will surely want to kill us.
But we could not get away from the name Harper. We both loved it so much.
Consequently, our love for her name will most likely result in her hating us. -
I completely understand. When I first got pregnant we started talking names and was able to agree on a boys name right away. And of course when we found out what it was a girl, we couldn’t agree on a name up until a month before she was born. We’re both hoping for a boy next time just so we don’t have to come up with another girl’s name!
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I am so not excited to go through this whenever I have kids (if I have kids). What if our styles don’t match? WHAT THEN? Killing the hubs while pregnant just doesn’t sound like a good life plan.
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My husband and I went through the same thing. I’d find a name, get all excited, and he’d shoot me down. The few we did like, he had a relative by that name or knew someone in high school by that name. Except he wasn’t very willing to offer any suggestions until the very last minute. So my last 2 kids, their names were kind of rushed, to put it lightly.
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we suck at naming too… which is why our kids all have family names. if we have another boy though? we’re kind of screwed.
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The worst was we finally came up with the perfect name. We both LOVED it. Loved the name (Caroline). Loved the Nickname (Calli). And started calling her Calli all the time.
Well, all the time when we were alone. We did not share the name with anyone. Then two weeks before she was due some friends of ours had a girl and named her Caroline. AARGH!
Which is why my daughter is named Charlotte, which we love and her nickname is Calli, which we also love, but which makes people go “Huh? How did you get Calli from Charlotte?“
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My partner had no choice in our little girl’s name. My dad passed while I was pregnant and his middle name (Hadley) seemed fitting and he really couldn’t argue. I reminded him that she would have his last name and gave him the right to name our second born.
Now we have another little girl on the way and I am concerned… Names like “Annakin” (as in Darth Vadar) have been floating around. Of course, I will shoot those down, but really, a Star Wars character? Bella is another one he is talking about, which I love, but is too well timed with the Twilight saga, which I may get over that fact.
Anyway, good luck with babies to come and naming them! Don’t you wish they would just whisper their name upon their arrival?
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We were gooooolden with girl names, but boy names? SO HARD.
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My parents have a history of being all set on first names, and claim to have known they would name a daughter Elizabeth before they were even married. But middle names? Best I can tell, all three of us ended up with middle names hastily agreed upon when it was time to fill out the birth certificate!
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Liz - My husband and his brother share a middle name. Donald says its because the creativity dies at kid #4 lol.
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You want 4 more kids? Bless you bless you bless you. My son gets one sibling and then the factory is closed!
Lucky for me, my husband is Greek and wanted to follow the tradition of naming the first boy after his father (if he had been a girl, it would be after his mother and Baby number two gets my mother or father’s name and I LOVE both their names), so there was no pressure about agreeing on a name. Lucky for him, I had no problem with following that tradition! Now if his father had a name like Zero or Adonis, we may have had a little issue… -
We had first names for one girl and one boy before we were married. But then we had a surprise Final Edition. In fact, we prefaced his name for years: this is our Final Edition…Anyway, we made lists and compared them hoping for one name in common and that worked for us. Good Luck! Enjoy the process :-)
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Last January…before I knew I was pregnant, I was sitting at my window staring out at the world, and I suddenly longed to have a little girl. I mean, my uterus and heart ached simultaneously. I could picture her…beautiful, brilliant, strong. Her name was Blythe. It just…was. It was like she had sprung into existence somewhere, and all I had to do was wait until she found me.
In early March, I found out I was 3 months pregnant, and I was sure it would be Blythe, but at 24 weeks I had an ultrasound. The main feature? Meat and potatoes. Big Jim and the Twins. 2 grapes and a cheeto.
A boy??? Say what?
It took about 24 hours for the news to sink in, and another 24 for me to start thinking that maybe…(just maybe) I could deal with a boy. 24 more hours later, and he’d already whispered his name to me. Jude. And, Jude he is.
(His middle name is Teodoro, but that is another story for another day) ;)
Now, I could not imagine how I could have been so sure I was going to have a girl. But, I am still waiting for Blythe.
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Yes. Fighting for the remote control…
My husband’s meager contributions to the name bank were (in my opinion) the names one would give a horse or a gang member. MY names though, were lovely. Every one of them. IN FACT, the names of all of our kids are all from MY list. Just thought I’d point that out… ;)
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Agh, we had the same issues. He has terrible taste, I can tell you that. At least in girls’ names, we settled on a boy name very quickly. Of course, then we found out we were having a girl.
Now, he says he is tired of Hannah and wants to change her name. I told him no, unless I get to choose it. So, she will stay Hannah.
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We are going through this right now (I’m 21 weeks). We found out two weeks ago that we’re having a girl. I have 3 names that I absolutely LOVE. My husband has come up with one name: Cameron. I dated a Cameron and will not name ANY of my children this. He has yet to offer up another name. Some days I feel like fighting over it because seriously, how hard it is to say names you like? I’ve made two separate lists, just to be nice, of names that I don’t hate and could possibly agree to naming her. He’s vetoed all of them. At this rate we’ll never name her and I’m dying to call her by a name! *sigh* I totally get this post, thank you.
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We had a hard time, too. It was actually ok-I-need-to-take-a-long-hot-bath-because-I-don’t-want-to-harm-the-baby-with-all-this-tension stressful. Eventually, he gave in to a name I had picked and he’s glad he did. It’s fitting and everyone we meet thinks it is just ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!
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All this name stuff cracks me up! My boyfriend and I aren’t even CLOSE to baby-ready, but we’ve had to name debates. They usually come up when a friend of ours names their child and we look at each other and stick and finger down our throats.
Our biggest issue is that my boyfriend is a writer and wants all these crazy character names or writing-related names (like Penn, Story, Ever, etc.) and I work in social services so I’ve seen every horrific trend or name-disaster known to mankind! (Seriously? Enough with the crazy names people! Your child doesn’t want to be named Pachino and have a twin brother named Alpachino. And I don’t know what the mother of Aholotta Katz - a whole lot of cats - was smoking, but it’s probably not safe for the baby!)
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Jamie - When we were in the hospital, one of the nurses told us about a baby boy named Bubbles.
I just about died on the spot.
Courtney - Donald is the same way. Although he hasn’t picked an ex-bf’s name, he seems to only like two or three names for each gender. When I was pregnant, I was constantly pestering him for more names. So he tossed Max into the ring.
Max. The name of the neighbor’s dog.
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We almost broke up over naming our son. In the end, when he was two days old and still nameless, we had both flipped and would only consider the OTHER person’s original suggestion. So after having fought tooth and nail against the name Jack Henry, suddenly I was fighting tooth and nail FOR it, since all David wanted was the name I had picked out. The man is a master at reverse psychology. I will swear up and down that I changed my mind on my own.
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Here is how you get exclusive naming rights. Go into labor Sat. morning at 8:30 am. Deliver baby MONDAY at 4:19 pm with enough blood loss to become anemic for the first time ever. Husband will let you name the baby anything you like at that point. He is just so grateful he didn’t have to go through all that.
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Yeesh, don’t get me started! Our dilemma is that my husband hates all the names I like, but doesn’t have ANY, as in NOT ONE name that he likes or suggests. So I just get shot down and shot down and shot down….....Last time I gave him a list of 30 names I could live with and he chose from that. This time I gave him a list of 30 names and he says he hates all of them. So I have told him that this means the choice is mine…..11 weeks to go, and this bub had better come with a name-tag too!
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I am quite possibly one of the luckiest girls alive when it comes to names. It just so happens that at least 4 of the names on my name list that I created over a decade ago long before my husband and I met, just happen to be family names on his side. So not only does he like the names, but I also win major brownie points with the in-laws.
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My husband and I talked about names our whole 4.5 years of marriage before we conceived our son. Once we did conceive it made it soooo much more difficult because at some point you have to settle on a name and hope to god that once the child is born, you’re not going to hate it.
We have the same issue, however, ours was more… his names were lame and my names were, “okay”. Everything was “okay”. But then if you asked him.. “TELL ME THE TRUTH!!“ He’d say, “i don’t like them”.
GAHHH!
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Andrea - You live in my dream world. That is all.
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Sarah - Honestly, I’m shocked Wade hasn’t suggested something similar! He restores cars and the reason he wanted to name our child, male or female, Cameron was so we could call them Cam. As in “camshaft.“ For a car. Not going to happen, my friend!
Lauren - I can soooooo relate to you. I feel for us both!
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Courtney - One of Donald’s likes is Samuel. So that he can say “Let’s play ball, Sam.“ That is the only reason he likes it. Not because its a family name or because it’s good and solid, but because it sounds good with “Let’s play ball.“ YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.
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oh how i love blog post (and comments) about names! love. i see that many commentators are in the midst of discussing names, and i just wanted to direct them to http://nymbler.com (makes name connections) which is fun to play around with and actually seems helpful.
i have no kids. however, i do have a few names picked out that my husband isn’t even aware of yet. i can’t wait to start arguing with him…; ) -
Our first was a girl and we had very little problem deciding on the name Olivia Rose. Our second, a boy, was a whole other story. The first name wasn’t too bad, my husband pretty much talked me into it while pregnant with the 1st and it grew on me. Myles was the choice. The middle name however, we just couldn’t agree on. Something was wrong with every.single.one. I finally told my husband to choose something, I didn’t care. The day he was born and I filled out his birth certificate info I asked him what he chose and it was Elijah. I do NOT plan on any more kids thank goodness.
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We had it out over Boy names…girl names..piece of cake…and wouldn’t you know we had a boy first. My hubs is a III and wanted a IV….I don’t like either name or any of the versions of either name…I though our boy would remain nameless. We ended up naming him the IV and calling him Ren…my grandfathers name (short for Reynold)...which I love! The only problem is when he is older and has no idea that his name is the IV…can’t win for losing for sure. And we started talking about names again…I am not liking the girl name we picked out so…it’s going to be a bumpy road!
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Oh my goodness - I’m so glad I’m not the only one that feels like this. Baby naming is the HARDEST thing about having a baby. You’d think it would be easy to pick because (like you) I want like 4 or 5 (maybe 6?) kids, so I’ll have several chances, right? WRONG! Our problem is not really disagreeing. It’s that I can’t decide on a name that will haunt my children for the REST OF THEIR LIVES. My husband can’t understand why we don’t just stick with the names we picked out when we were dating. HELLO! This is a monumentous (sp?) decision that has to be mulled over every minute of the pregnancy (and even a few months after they are born). Let me just tell you I don’t think it gets easier with the second. I think it gets harder. I just hope the next one isn’t harder still.
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Jeneva-so weird, our son is named Myles as well. Spelling the same and all. Don’t see many of them.
We didn’t have too hard of a time naming Myles (our first born son) but we are now 23 weeks pregnant with baby number 2. We dedated for weeks on names. Girls names weren’t too hard, we came up with 3 finalists right away. Boys names were another thing. We could not come up with one single name that we both even somewhat agreed on. We walked into our ultrasound earlier this month still without a boys name.
Luckily we didn’t need one because we are in fact having a little girl. We decided on the name Isla for her. I love the name and my husband likes it. In a moment of weakness, I told my mother the name we picked out (big mistake) and since then she has been questioning it. So now I am unsure if that’s the name I want or not. Ugh! This has got to be one of the hardest decisions in life for sure! -
Julie - Yeah, I’ve been thinking about giving up telling relatives our name picks. It’s like a bad habit. I get so excited that I want to share the beautiful, wonderful name with (insert reltive here), but then they don’t give me the canned enthusiastic response that I’m hoping for. UGH.
Also, we’re the same way. We have a second girl’s name, but not a boy name. And the boy name we had the first go-around just, I don’t know, we’ve been having second thoughts about lol.
Amber - Yay for big families!! We’re thinking four or five. Probably not six, but who knows?
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Oh - I totally agree with you - baby-naming is one of the hardest jobs out there. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a job I enjoy having, but it’s work nonetheless.
The funny thing (in our situation at least) is that we decided on a boys name almost instantly. Months ago in fact, before we even knew we were having a boy. But then we hemmed and hawed and thought, “maybe we should check out other names just in case.“ So we spent the next six months trying to find the perfect name but after all of that, we decided to stick with our original choice. Now if we can just agree on which name to actually call him, we’ll be all set!
By Rachelle on November 23, 2009
I wish you both the best luck with this one, for I too, went through the war zone that is naming a baby. But you guys made such a great choice last time, I’m sure you’ll get there in the end!