What my momma gave me.
April 27, 2009

Shortly after I received my first paycheck at the age of 18, I decided that it was high time I purchased my first real bra.

I’d worn bras for several years, of course, but my collection was almost entirely composed of neon-colored sports bras.  When your breasts are only an A cup WHEN YOU ROUND UP, the last thing you need is the compression that a wardrobe of sports bras provides.  I wanted the sort of bra that a boy wouldn’t have to struggle to take off.

It was another two or three years before I would meet a boy who wanted to take my bra off, but my 18 year old self did not know that.  And so, my 18 year old self drove herself to the mall and entered that wondrous place called Victoria’s Secret and waited for an overeager sales girl to grope her and help her out.

Sadly, the overeager sales girl wrapped her measuring tape around my chest and informed me that Victoria’s Secret did not carry my size.  My mosquito bites were, well, how could she put this nicely?

They were TOO SMALL.

I went to half a dozen shops that day and they were all the same.  Bras for the tiny-breasted women of this world are few and far between.  So over time, I collected a hodge-podge collection of bras that were passable and boy-friendly if not the proper fit, and that was that.  Bra-shopping for microscopic breasts, I concluded, is next to impossible.

Pregnancy has delivered to my doorstep boobs the size of Everest and I have admittedly found this to be one of the coolest side effects of gestation.  These suckers would never be rejected by Victoria’s Secret.  Never.

I just didn’t realize that the pain of bra shopping was, well, not determined by the size of your breasts.  That bra shopping was actually some sort of universal means of torturing women for daring to have functional mammary glands.  That it was painful whether you had microscopic breasts or knockers that could poke someone’s eyes out.  Oh, the cost of being a woman.  SIGH.

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  1. By Jes the Bes on April 27, 2009

    I feel your pain. All of my bras carry enough padding that loose 5 lbs when I take them off. I have tried to convince myself that it is better to have an “athletic” figure. Oh, the things we tell ourselves.

  2. By Monica on April 27, 2009

    hehehe.  I was in your shoes…errr…bra as well before pregnancy/birth.  If you want my nursing bra rankings, let me know.  After two pregnancies, I can recommend a couple that are quite comfy, but ultimately the nursing tank top is the best invention ever!

  3. By kbreints on April 27, 2009

    Oh yeah, one of my least favorite activities for sure. FOR SURE.

  4. By repliderium.com on April 27, 2009

    Bras & bathing suits.
    It’s what hell looks like.

  5. By Kimberly on April 27, 2009

    Pregnancy boobs are one thing…just wait until they get hot and fill up with milk ;-)

  6. By margie on April 27, 2009

    oh sarah, 56 years later i still can’t find a bra small enough.  i remember well my first pregnancy, being at a theatre and there was clapping.  i started to clap and my arms knocked against my boobs and i burst out laughing.  it had never happened before.  thanks for visiting out blog!!

  7. By Krisitn on April 27, 2009

    I totally agree, I hate bra shopping, that and bathing suit shopping! The hardest thing I think to find though is a good COMFORTABLE nursing bra!

  8. By Jaye @ canadian-mom.ca on April 27, 2009

    Boobs are so overrated. As for pregnancy boobs, I really hated how big mine got. I thought it was disgusting how they rested on my big old belly when I sat. Yuck!
    Anways, by the end of my pregnancy and after my boobs regulated themselves from breastfeeding, I happily welcomed back my old boob size. Of course, I didn’t ever realize ahead of time that even full B’s would sag after nursing. So um yeah. Yay for smaller ones. You might be so lucky as to not have any saggage! :D

  9. By tracey on April 27, 2009

    I miss my pregnancy boobs! I was an A before kids, too. (barely). I am slightly bigger now, but, um… not perky. Let’s put it that way. Enjoy your preggo and nursing boobs. Take pictures. (don’t show me, though.) You will miss them… :)

  10. By Mommica on April 27, 2009

    You think that’s bad? Imagine having no problem buying bras at all, being perfectly happy with your boobs (not too big; not too small) only to have them TAKEN AWAY. I’m talking SHRIVELED UP AND DIED.

  11. By MommyNamedApril on April 27, 2009

    no joke.  wait till you get into nursing bras.  Whooo-eeee!

  12. By Alison (aka Cluck and Tweet) on April 27, 2009

    My sister (who is almost 7 years older than I am) told me when she was in high school and I was probably in 5th grade, that I would be popular like she was because I, too, like her and our mother, would have big boobs.  I’m still waiting.  At 43.

  13. By Heather on April 27, 2009

    Ah, but when you have the big ones they sag down to your knees after 3 kids. Highly overrated if you ask me.

  14. By Melinda on April 27, 2009

    Sweetie, they are only going to get bigger once you start nursing!! I literally went up 4 sizes. My husband had a love/hate relationship with them…he could look, he just couldn’t touch : )

  15. By Momisodes on April 27, 2009

    I am SO with you!

    If only I could have pregnant boobs forever, I would be a happy woman. 

    Pre and post baby?  My chest could double as a cup-holder :(

  16. By Katelyn on April 27, 2009

    You kill me!  I don’t much like anything to do with bras.

  17. By Veronica on April 28, 2009

    Yeah, bra shopping, SO not fun.

    And now that I’m a D cup (on a baby-fed-all-night and I’m-out-of-milk day) I really REALLY want my old smaller boobs back. Smaller boobs have nicer bras.

  18. By Steph on April 28, 2009

    I grew size C cups when I was 9 years old. Yes, NINE. My mom went out and bought me the same design bras “DaisyFresh” for years before I ever ventured out to buy my own. These bras? Not boy worthy. I remember I had this one boyfriend when I was 16 and we had made a date to skip school and make-out in his apartment. I was terrified that he’d see this 3 clasp mega-bra, nasty white with a teeny VERY MODEST lace border.

    A day or two before this “date”, I went to a “Buck or Two” and grabbed the sleaziest black lacy thing I could find. It didn’t even have a proper SIZE on it and I think it only cost me like $3.99. Needless to say, I wasn’t worried about forgetting it at his house.

    Trouble is, when I finally put darn thing on before I met up with him, it COULD BARELY CONTAIN ME. I remember how awkward the bus ride was going to his place… I had to keep sticking my hands in my shirt to pop myself back in.

    Oh well. I totally agree with you. Whether you’re large or small, bra shopping is totally NOT FUN.

    Have you already switched to Maternity Bras? Those things make you cony. I felt like Madonna when I had to wear them when I was pregnant with my daughter. And in a few months I’ll have to get more. (I threw those suckers out as soon as I was finished nursing. They were NASTY).

    Anyway, congrats on your new boobs :)

  19. By Wild Dingo on April 28, 2009

    Ok, Big boobs are sooooo overrated. I’m a C. When you get older, they fall. they get stretch marks. they get in your way when you’re active. Seriously. I can’t do some yoga poses because my boobs are in the way.

    The ONLY time my boobs worked for me was when I was fairly young (late 20’s), and broke the clutch in my fairly new G20 broke. Just past the warranty by a few months, the manager told me he’d give me a free clutch repair while looking at my boobs. When I came back to get the car, key in hand, he said to me “You know, I’m single.“

    It was one of the few times in my life that a clever reply could just roll off my tongue. My car key in my left hand and my right hand on the door, I gave him a very big smile and sweetly replied, “Great! I’ll tell all my friends!“ And I walked away as quickly as I could.

    I shit you not. This is ONE story that is not embellished. Ok, so not the greatest story, but I don’t think there could have been a better reply, even if i had time to think about it!

    so for my 40 years, my big boobs came in handy that one time and probalby 4 or 5 times more in more common ways, mostly by old geezers. (go check out my facebook…there’s a photo of me w/my cleavage and my “old” man (hubby) sitting next to me… story of my life, walking around with my boobs hanging out sitting next to an old man.)

  20. By Tabitha (From Single to Married) on April 28, 2009

    ha!  I feel your pain!  Buying a bra is one of a woman’s biggest challenges.  Even when I buy the “fancy” ones from a store where they fit you and they cost an arm and a leg, they still don’t fit right.

  21. By Elizabeth on April 28, 2009

    Post-nursing is sooooo much better… not!

  22. By Bec on April 29, 2009

    I’m the opposite. I can’t find bras because I’m too big. Oh! I can get those granny ones that look like saggy, baggy elephant ears - those are all kinds of sexy. Sometimes I can hear audible groaning from those suckers.





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